31 Days to Clean and Done

I've been doing this challenge with Sarah Mae's book "31 Days to Clean." I have enjoyed it and generally have learned a lot, but now I am done with it. I did not finish the blog challenge, though I did finish the book, which was very good. Everyday I feel like I am just repeating myself so I'm going to stop posting about it. This book has some great ideas and some great lists to get you going. I would recommend it to anyone.

From this challenge I have learned:

1. We need to spend more time at the feet of Jesus than rushing around trying to get stuff done.
2. It is more important to focus on the people and lessons around you than getting the dishes (or whatever chore on your list) done. 
3. Everything gets done, somehow everything will always get done.
4. The way I do things is okay. I don't have to define it or explain it. 
5. My home is for living and playing in. It will never look perfect because it is too full of life. 
6. Not to compare myself by other's standards. I only have to look at myself and my family to know if things are working right or not because they are the only ones that matter.

"If you come over to see my house make an appointment. If you come over to see me, drop by anytime!" Quote thanks to my Mom.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 22: Developing a workable schedule

At this point, after all of these other challenges, this is an easy one. My schedule is completely flexible because that is what works for me. If I have something set and I don't do it I get frustrated. However, if I have a flexible list of stuff to get done, I will usually accomplish it and sometimes more.

For me, it is easier to do things as I come to them instead of forcing them. For example, I try to do the dishes (hand washing, our dishwasher is broke) at least every two days. However, if I'm playing with Zoey or find something else that needs to be done, I don't sweat it. For example, I've been meaning to wash our sheets all week and today, it happened because it was on my mind and it organically happened. I didn't force it and it would have been a major headache if I did.

If I've learned nothing else from these challenges, it is that everything will get done. For me, I need it to happen on my own time. This doesn't mean I am lazy, it just means that is the best way it all works for me.

Our schedule looks like this...

8am (ish) we wake up and start the day.
11:30am (ish) we eat lunch
12:30pm (ish) Zoey naps
5:30pm (ish) we eat dinner
8pm (ish) Zoey goes to bed

That is our schedule. As you can see it pretty much revolves around Zoey, as I believe it should. Everything else fits in around it. Some days I do all my chores before lunch, other days we go outside and play all morning. I spend my "me" time during naps and after Zoey's bedtime when I'm not spending time with Stephen in the evenings. I blog, scrapbook, read and sometimes just sit on the computer. We are a spontaneous bunch (though prepared spontaneity) so I don't like to plan too much or it just becomes frustrating. I have enough frustrations with an almost 2 year old to worry about not meeting the expectations of a schedule.

Day 21: The Importance of a Plan

Today is talking about the ant and the grasshopper. Have you ever heard that story? How the ant prepares all summer for the winter bringing food into his shelter and does nothing but work all day long. Then there is the grasshopper who plays all day and doesn't prepare anything for the long, cold winter. So the winter comes and the ant is safe, warm and feed and the grasshopper is out of luck.

I've never really liked that parable. Does it have to be one or the other? Do you have to be either the ant or the grasshopper? I think the key is to be somewhere in the middle.

I've always been a planner. I like things to run smoothly and everyone to have fun no matter what we are doing. But becoming a mom put all of my previous planning ideas on it's head. I'm still a planner, but in a whole new way. Let me explain...

Before I was a mom, I would plan every detail and get aggravated with deviation. Now, I'm a flexible planner. I still like to plan things, events etc., but now there is so much more to planning an outing with a baby/toddler/kid in general and I've managed to become a lot more flexible and enjoy the deviations because they are sometimes the most fun.

As a mom, I've gained a sixth sense about what we will need and what could go wrong. I love the impulse of "Let's go to the park!" However, with a small child there is no walking straight out the door without a little preparation. I know every mother/parent knows exactly what I'm talking about. You can't go anywhere without diapers, change of clothes, snack, sippy cup or bottles, a lovey or something to entertain, blankets for smaller babies... Your list may be a little different and have some more or some less on it, but the idea is there, it's amazing how much a little person needs, even for a short while.

My solution: Be prepared. I always keep a change of clothes, diapers and wipes ready in the diaper bag. I also keep a couple small toys, a pad and pencil and a small book in there (my daughter is almost two so this is what will occupy her). I keep snacks in baggies in the cupboard so I can just grab a couple and go. I try to keep a cup of juice in the fridge all the time so I can grab it, even around the house. I don't always, but filling a cups takes 45 seconds and if I don't have to do all that other stuff then it seems like no time at all. With this preparation, by the time shoes are on, we are out the door no matter how impulsive the outing is.

Now, I just have to work on planning dinners better. There is always something to improve!

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 20: Time

Time is a funny thing. I remember having many conversations over coffee in college talking about time.

I also remember a friend's mom saying, "You better enjoy your life now (in college) because you'll never have this much time again." I didn't believe her. I figured, if I could just get through my classes and the papers I'd have plenty of time. I mean, a job only takes up 40 hours a week, that's plenty of time to left to do whatever I wanted. Yeah, right. I was young and delusional. Especially now that I am no longer working a 40 hour a week type of job. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 kind of job and on vacations, you take your work with you.

I'm not complaining, I love my job and I love my life. I now know what my friend's mom meant. I also would add that you'll never have more time to yourself. Roomates are one thing, a husband is something else, but with kids, your personal space and time is a sacred thing.

So time, more aptly, time management. It is a tough thing to manage time because often time manages you. I feel like I do fairly well at managing my time. I do have times where I don't do anything, but I don't get them enough for it to be a problem. And, I would say those 10 minutes I do nothing or spend an hour doing nothing but surfing the Internet or Facebook are sometimes the best time of my day. I am outwardly doing nothing productive, but inwardly, my mind is resting. By taking my mind off of my lists or frustrations for a little bit I am rejuvenated to start fresh and often get more done. True, if this were a constant thing it would be a bit different, but I'm doing good if I can have a computer on more than a couple/few hours a day because the rest of the time is spent with Zoey (and cleaning, etc.)

Time. Time is a tricky thing. It is amazing that no matter what, everything always gets done and I'm always better for it.

Now...cue Hootie and the Blowfish because I can't get that song out of my head!

"Time" by Hootie and the Blowfish

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 19: Finding Joy in the Self-disciplined Life

Joy.

Joy is mentioned 244 times in the NIV bible, according to Bible Gateway. I would say it must be a pretty important topic.

The thing about joy is... it doesn't mean your life is going great, it doesn't mean you are in a good mood all the time, it doesn't even mean you have all the things that you want. It means you are at the core of your being satisfied.

The disciples definitely didn't have things going great for them all the time, in fact, they all were persecuted in some way, most were killed. However, they had joy.

"Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happed to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy." 1 Peter 4:12-13 NIV

There are many times in life that things just need to get done. The dishes, for example, the laundry is another, but I am thankful that we live in a time where I am not persecuted for my beliefs (for the most part anyway). I am also glad I live in a time where I have a washing machine to help me out.

I am joyous everyday. I may not be happy about doing chores or getting interrupted, but at the core of my being I am satisfied. I love God and I love my family. Everything else is just details.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 18: Making Your Personality Work For You

I don't really know which personality listed fits me. None of them really sound right. I am laid back and easy going and my cleaning style parallels that. I do the thing that bugs me the most first. It's a pretty easy system really. I get the daily stuff done when it works for me. I don't exactly sit around and wait for motivation, but if I feel like I need to do something else in that moment I do that instead and don't worry about it too much. Because at some point that thing will become what I need to do. It all gets done. The more I read and learn the less I want to define my cleaning habits, instead I am accepting that my habits are okay because the work for me and my family.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 17: Your Cleaning Style

"Don't Beat Yourself Up!"

I like this one. The point is...everyone is different and everyone will do things differently. I actually just wrote about this, to "Do It Your Own Way." It's kind of funny that the same subject came up two days in a row.

Dear God, I'm listening!!!

For today's Mary challenge, Sarah Mae encourages us to complete the D.I.S.C personality test. I finished mine and it resulted in: Supportive. I completely agree with that. The summery is as follows:

"Supportive, steady, status quo, and sweet. This person likes to help and support other. They tend to focus on teamwork and cooperation over results."

That makes a lot of sense to me. It also probably explains why I am more worried about my family and how they are feeling than actual work to be done. I prefer working on things that make others happy, which is also why I don't take a lot of time for myself. I like to see someone's eyes like up when they receive something meant just for them. And I love to see my husband's eyes light up when I randomly bake brownies. And I love to see my daughter laugh and learn when I take the time to include her in cooking, crafts, or whatever I doing.

The Do's and Don'ts...
DO it your own way, and DON'T beat yourself up!

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 16: Willing Hands

Are our hands willing? Are our hearts willing?

These are very important questions.

My answer: Most of the time.

Most of the time, I don't mind cleaning. I am even learning how to do it joyfully everyday. I pick up what I can and do what I can and leave the rest alone. Again--most of the time.

Sarah Mae touches on the word "can't" today. It is a very naughty word and I think of it on the same lines of a curse word. "Can't" should not be in your vocabulary. I have learned (at times the hard way) that speaking negatively reaps negative actions and attitudes. Thankfully, through God's grace and focusing on the positive, I have overcome most of my negative tendencies.

"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. it exposes our innermost thoughts and desires." Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)

Life's about the little things...
Zoey and I enjoyed a fresh strawberry from our plant.

My biggest obstacle of willing hands is getting overwhelmed. We already touched on this some on Day 10. It's at this point that it starts to feel like work and less of a willing attitude. Today is a prime example:

We got a dog this past weekend. You can Meet Eli, our new Newfoundland mix "puppy." So today is the first normal day and trying to find a new routine. Eli is really great and well behaved, but it does take some getting used to anytime a routine is altered, this change just happens to be affected me the most.

This is Eli. He is such a sweet dog!

Anyway...this morning I felt overwhelmed. I got up grudgingly (I'm still working on positive in the mornings.) I got Zoey up who was now beating on her door, I let Eli outside who was now pacing behind me, then I try to remember what to do next, oh yeah--breakfast. So I go in the living room to turn on Mickey while I start breakfast when I remembered that I haven't even used the bathroom myself yet. So I did that and then remembered to let Eli back in the house. I started breakfast with a very hungry dog under my feet (I love him, but humans come first, at least the pint sized one.) So I got Zoey her cereal and banana and realized I haven't changed her yet, thankfully she was fairly dry. So I changed her and got her eating happily while watching Mickey. Now it was time to feed Eli. I got his food ready (we are doing half dry and half wet) something that I don't quite have down to a science yet. Then I gave him the food after he sat and stayed very well (he's such a good dog.) Then I got my orange juice to go with my cereal and went to sit down with Zoey. Sigh. It's only been like 10 minutes (if that) into the morning and I already felt fried. And as I eat my cereal I tried not to think about the dirty dishes sitting in the sink or the three loads of laundry I need to do (Monday is self-imposed laundry day at our house.)

Well, you get the picture. I feel overwhelmed when there is a lot to do and it all needs to happen now. Every morning doesn't feel this rushed, thankfully, and we will get the newly added dog routine down, I'm sure of it. But, it's times like these that make my hands feel unwilling. I get so much on my mind that I don't know what to do next.

I am working on this! I am making my lists a priority. That is helping. It lets me know that I have a plan so I can focus on what I am doing now. That is a big step for me.

My feet were the first thing to get in the pool.
Zoey dragged me into the pool laughing!

To be honest the thing that has helped most today was when Zoey and I were playing outside in the pool and she pulled me (willingly) into the pool with her. It was so nice to rest and cool off on a hot summer day in her little pool. It made me forget all of my overwhelmed feelings from this morning and I realized (as I so often do) that spending time with Zoey is the only thing I really need to accomplish every day.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 15: I'd Rather Do Anything But Clean

Amen.

Though, that is not entirely true. Because sometimes when I am on the floor playing with Zoey all I can think about is getting the dishes done or that the laundry needs to be changed. It is a paradox because I'd rather do anything but clean, but it is usually what is on my mind.

I'm working on this. I'm very happy to say that I am much better about this than I was even two weeks ago. I have a hard time focusing on what I'm doing right now because I'm thinking about what else needs to be done. Thus, lists are my friends! (We talked about lists on Day 6.) It is amazing because I don't worry about it so much because I have a reminder and a statement that it will be done next.

Zoey is much happier too I think. Since we have been off of our routine for a week in a half (in FL and then with Stephen's family in NC), this week has been all about getting the house and ourselves back into order. Today is Friday and I am happy to say that has been accomplished! Zoey is back to her happy self and the house looks as good (or as bad depending how you look at it) as it normally does.

Today's Mary challenge is about making a lesson plan to teach your children the value of cleaning. I'm not going to do that. 1. Because I am lazy but more importantly 2. Because Zoey is not even 2 and won't understand a lesson plan. I get Zoey involved with everything I do to some degree. At this stage, I teach her by example. I also take the time to explain what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. (She doesn't always comprehend that, but I think she understands more than I can imagine.)

Zoey liking the whisk after helping me make brownies, yum!

Zoey loves to cook. Yesterday, I was chopping veggies for a Vegetarian Lasagna (link from the last time we cooked it). Zoey wanted to help. Instead of shooing her away from the cutting board, I gave her her own cutting board, a butter knife and mushrooms to chop. I told her how Mommy had to use this knife because it was really sharp, but that she could be a big help by cutting the mushrooms with Zoey's knife. She was happy with this and did really well with it. I showed her how to cut in lines and everything. This is just one example of how we work together. It would be easier to tell her to go play, but in the long run it will help us both for her to learn. Besides, I don't want to ever squash her ambition to help because in not too long from now I'm going to ask her to help and I want to keep that willing attitude for as long as I can.

So, yes, I'd rather do anything but clean. However, cleaning is part of life, especially the life of a homemaker. So I try to make it fun and do things in small spurts so it doesn't get overwhelming. Some days are better than others, but it all gets done. And most importantly, I spend quality time with my Zoey-bug!

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 14: The Secret to Having Energy

Doing what you love!

Now wasn't that simple? The harder part is being able to fit it in your schedule. If you are like me, your entire daily schedule revolves around an (almost) two-year old. Thus there is a lot of cartoons, playing pretend and blocks, some simple crafts, meals and thankfully a nap (but probably not for too much longer.) However, there is not a whole lot of time carved out for things I want to do.

I am doing a lot better lately about making time for me though. Because, just as today's challenge states, you can give more of yourself and time to your family when you are happy and have had some time to yourself.

My number one rule for myself is that I DO NOT do chores while Zoey naps. I use that time for myself. I do all kinds of different things that make me happy (including taking a nap some days.) But it give me a chance to relax without trying to figure out why the toddler is so quiet (sleeping is about the only time a quiet toddler is a good thing.)

This is a scrapbook page I did from last year.

Everyone has their own interests and things they do for themselves, but I will share a few of mine with you:

1. Scrapbooking: One of my passions is taking pictures and crafting those pictures into scrapbooks. I get really excited about doing this and it is one of the things that really makes me happy. I spent part of my time on the computer viewing, organizing, editing and choosing pictures to use in my scrapbook and to use as gifts. Then my favorite part is to design pages that colorfully track all the cool adventures we have. It is something I love to go back and look through and I hope Zoey can appreciate learning about all the details of her family through our adventures.
2. Blogging: I love to write. Writing has always made we relax and find perspective. I sometimes miss my days as a journalist and blogging is a way that I can live all the good parts of journalism. (This basically means I get to write about what I want to and not what someone tells me too.) I love the community I have found in blogging too. I enjoy reading what others have to say and sharing stories. I have found that sitting down and writing/reading my blog every (at least most) days really makes it easier for me to deal with the day-to-day mundane and struggles. I feel like I am a part of the outside world (even at home) through this wonderful online community.
3. Puzzling: I love to do word puzzles. My favorite is word finds, but I also like crosswords, fill-ins and some of the variety ones too. It is nice to just sit without any other thoughts and challenge my mind.
4. Snacking: I don't mean constantly snacking or eating incredibly unhealthy. However, eating that yummy piece of chocolate or making a scrumptious salad or even a nice cup of coffee can really make me happy and give me some energy.
5. Watching a movie: This is one that I don't do very often. I know it makes me feel good, I just don't let myself have that much time to myself often. I am completely content to let Zoey watch her cartoon movies. I honestly don't mind watching cars every other day. I don't know if there is something wrong with me or not, but oh well. On the flip side, I really do enjoy watching a movie (without toddler interruption). I just usually want to take that time and spend it doing the first two or three things on this list. Scrapbooking and blogging take up most of the handful of hours I have to myself each day. But I think I will try to take at least enough time out of each week to watch one adult-like movie.

So there are mine. What are yours? What do you like to do for yourself that makes you happy and ultimately gives you more energy?

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 13: Fighting Fatigue

Zoey and I picking a flower while visiting
Granny and Pops last week.

Even though Zoey is now almost 2 (21 months), sometimes I still find it really hard to get motivated and stay rested. This makes me feel guilty because it isn't because a newborn is keeping me up or I go work long hours out of the house. I don't know what causes it really, but today's challenge does give me some insight on how to fix it.

It is a fine line that we walk between too much and not enough sleep and activity. Too little sleep or too much activity will cause us to be over-tired, easily stressed, non-coherent and for the most part useless. However, the opposite is also true. If we get too much sleep or too little activity our body goes into a sort of hibernation. So the challenge is to find the balance.

This over-tiredness is something I have been battling with recently. It is one of the motivators that got me to start doing yoga. Which I love by the way! I have also been eating better and more regularly. For a while I would hardly even eat lunch. I would get Zoey all set up with her food and then finish whatever chore I was working on to get it finished. Now I fix Zoey and I the same food (for the most part) and I sit down with her and we eat together. It has helped me to eat more consistently and I give myself the same balanced lunch as I give Zoey.

My mom was a superwoman when I was a kid. She would get up and take me to school, go work all day, come home and then play with me and help around the house. Now that I am a mom and a wife I asked her the secret to how she could do so much all the time. Her answer was simple: don't stop! It is so true. I now know exactly what she means. If I get up and keep moving (i.e. get breakfast ready, eat, wash dishes, play with Zoey, fold laundry...) If I bounce around from one thing to the other (playing with and giving attention to Zoey in between doing different chores) I not only get a lot done early in the day, I also have more energy to do it. But once I sit down, I lose all that energy. So I just keep moving.

How do you keep from getting worn out?

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 12: The Thing We All Have in Common -- Imperfection

I am not perfect, but I am loved.

No one is perfect.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that. We see someone else with a clean house and we wish ours could be like that. We see someone else successful in a field we strive in and we want to be like them. We see someone else who is thin and we are envious. These are just a few of the infinite ways we judge ourselves compared to others.

I strongly believe that you should not judge yourself against others. The only ones you have to answer to at the end of the day are God and yourself. If you are happy and are living a life that pleases God, then you are blessed.

My house will never look like a Martha Stewart magazine, but it is filled with love and happiness. I may never become the award winning journalist that I wanted before, but I am a mother, a wife and a writer and I wouldn't trade those roles for anything else. I am not as thin as I want to be, but I am working hard to keep my body strong and healthy is more important than size.

I do not have everything figured out, but I trust God to keep me, my husband to love me, my daughter to learn from me and myself to keep going everyday. Everything else are just the details and they will fall into place.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 9: Confronting laziness

I am guilty of laziness and procrastination. I don't know many who aren't at some point or another.

My favorite part of today's challenge is the quote about the stay-at-home mom:

When someone asks where you work, don't answer, "I don't work; I stay at home." Instead answer, "I work at home." When you manage your home, plan the meals, handle the finances, juggle the calendar, and make sure that family members enter the world relatively groomed and sanitized, you work a lot. Think of yourself as the COO of the home. --Tsh Oxenreider, SimpleMom.net (p. 21, 31 Days to Clean)

I have a hard time thinking of myself as the COO of the home because I share it and it's management with my husband. And I don't handle the finances. But on the whole, I like the statement that "I work in the home" because it is work. I think most people view stay-at-home parents to be sloths, to lazy or to good to go out and get a job. But every stay-at-home parent I know is as hard if not a harder worker keeping the home and kids running.

Staying at home is a choice and sometimes it is a hard choice. We have had our share of sacrifices so I can be at home with Zoey and overall, we are much happier for that decision.

I may have my lazy moments, but I don't have them as much as I used to (especially when I was in school or working.) Now I am finding that my times of not working are filled with times of much needed rest or staying "still" and playing with Zoey. (I put still in quotes because spending time with Zoey is very rarely being still.) I have learned to make better use of my time and realize that just because I'm not doing something every second of the day does not make me lazy, it keeps me going and doing all that I do with a joyful attitude.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 8: Overcoming the Curse

We talked about The Curse yesterday. And I had mixed feelings about that discussion. However, Overcoming the Curse I am completely in tune with!

There are several things Sarah Mae brings to light in overcoming the curse. I think the most important thing she mentions is that it is our response to the struggles we face that depicts our character. By finding joy in our tasks and learning what God has to teach us through every step of our lives we do not only live, but we give life!

I said it yesterday and I'll say it again...I will always be thankful that I have dishes to do because it means we have food to eat. I will always be thankful I have laundry to do because it means we have clothes to cover our backs. I will always be thankful I have rooms to dust because it means we have a house over our head and a place to call our own. Will I want to do these chores, no. But I will always be happy and thankful for them because it means I am alive!

Satan will always tempt us. He tempts us with procrastination, depression, hopelessness and distractions. HOWEVER, as Christians we have AUTHORITY* over the Satan and we can put his evil tricks under our feet and accept the joy God has in store for our lives (even the mundane parts.)

*"Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. Luke 10:19 (NLT)

Photo from One Year Bible Blog

I want to comment especially on the Mary Challenge today. As soon as I read it, I knew exactly what it meant to me. It is a little deep, but here it goes...

Mary Challenge: Think back to a time when God refined your character through difficult circumstances. Write it down and thank Him for His faithfulness. (31 Days to Clean, by Sarah Mae, p.20)

Last month, I had a miscarriage. It was a difficult time for me, but God was with me through it before I even knew I was pregnant. It is hard to explain that. If you know me at all or have read my blog for even a week, you will realize that patience is one of the areas God is constantly working on me. In short, I don't have a whole lot. I was soooooooo ready to have another baby. It was what I wanted. And I got it. I was so excited to be pregnant (and we got pregnant fast too, a little too fast it turns out.) The doctor said that a lot of time when you conceive so soon after you stop taking birth control that your body just isn't ready to carry a baby. Apparently, this was the case with me.

I knew when I lost the baby. But God was with me. I didn't feel the peace I was looking for and I realized later, it was because I didn't need to receive it. God had planted the peace I needed to endure this miscarriage before I even knew I was pregnant. Something always felt off about the baby. I still don't know what exactly, but God knew. I also think he knew that this baby would go back to Him very early on.

Angel in My Dreams
Photo from Nethugs

When I confirmed the miscarriage, I wasn't that upset. I felt like I was suppose to be distraught, but I think God had a plan for me and that baby. I realized by going through the miscarriage that I had to be patient and grow my family on God's terms and not my own. This seems extreme to get that message across, but He did it in a way that would make me understand.

I know I would have been impatient and not listened to God or Stephen for that matter about all the reasons to wait to have another child. I would have been worried why I wasn't getting pregnant. I would have stressed about the time scale and when it was going to happen. But it did happen and it wasn't time. Thus, I knew we were meant to wait to have more kids. Not just a month or two, but a little bit longer (6 months is a little bit longer right?).

I now realize that I definitely want more children, and I hope that we have many. On the other hand, I learned that I have to wait for God's time, not count on my own. I want to try and have another kid later this year after Zoey's birthday in August. (Ironic, since that is when Stephen wanted to try for another kid in the first place.) However, I also realize this time I need to really consult with God before trying to conceive again. God has an amazing plan for my life and the lives of my family. I just have to be patient and work within His timing and forgo my own.

I am very thankful for this experience even though it is/was difficult. I am now enjoying my time while not pregnant. Don't get me wrong, being pregnant is a beautiful thing and I am excited to be again, but there are some things to miss--like sushi. (Yum!) I am also getting healthier by continuing to eat better (I immediately began eating better when I was pregnant so I am continuing that) and exercising regularly (something I have always struggled with.) There is nothing like realizing you are pregnant with baby fat left over from the last baby to get motivated to work out. That way, when I am pregnant again, my body would be a better temple/home for my growing baby. And I found that I love Yoga! These are all things that are making my life better from going through this experience and listening to God.

What about you? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. In some cases, we never know what those reasons are, but sometimes, it just makes sense almost immediately. Are there any difficult times that have helped you grow stronger? Even the mundane and daily experiences can change you life if you let it! What is God trying to say to you?

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

I found this cartoon, that I really liked. I'm sure most wives and moms can relate:

Photo from Cartoon Stock

Day 7: The Curse

Photo from Bible Study Courses

Today's chapter in 31 Days to Clean is one that I'm not exactly sure how I feel about. The basic concept is that the reason our chores (i.e. dishes, laundry, etc.) are never ending is because of Adam's first sin in the Garden of Eden. Sarah Mae explains, "The curse is where God pronounced judgment on our domains" (p.18).  I've never heard this particular argument before, so it is interesting, but...

I have two qualms about this:

1. The downfall happened, but can we move on already! Every excuse for anything goes back to the Garden. I suppose it makes sense because it was the beginning and without that sin there wouldn't be anymore stories in the Bible at all. But that's the point. If they didn't sin and God didn't curse us we wouldn't be living. Everything would be perfect, nothing would happen. I don't like there being bad in the world, but without bad, there can be no good. Our world works in a balance that God created for us.

2. Chores are cycles just like life is cycles. The book states that because of the curse "all of creation now tends toward death, decay and disorder (p.18). I suppose this is true, but within the liner timeline of our lives, the world lives in cycles. We eat, sleep and are active in cycles because each day is the beginning of a cycle. The seasons cycle, and each new year marks the beginning of a cycle. It is because of these cycles that our dishes and laundry are never done.

I'm not sure I explained that right, but let me say this. I don't like the continuous mess and chores any more than the next person. But the thing I have learned is that I will be thankful that I always have dirty dishes in the sink because it means we have enough food to eat. I will be thankful that there is always dirty laundry because it means we have clothes to cover our bodies. I will be thankful that dust builds up because we have a shelter over our heads and a house to call our own. For all the small daily tasks I have to do (no matter how much I dislike doing them) I will be thankful because it means I am alive and healthy and can take care of the ones I love.

I think my biggest reluctance for this chapter is that I have studied this passage about the down fall of man many times in my life and the more I study it, the more intricacies come out of it. It is too much for me to get into here, but maybe one day I'll post about what I have learned through this passage. One thing I will say is that the devil tempts us to not continue the cycle (that is life) because he wants us to rebel against God just as he did. Satan tempts us all the time including our dislike to complete housework. (The book discusses how unproductive work is the curse, which is why we feel down about our chores. This is Satan's ploy.) And you can relate the housework back to the fall of man in Genesis, but Satan was in the Garden as well (Genesis 3:1). Even if man did not give into the sin, Satan would still tempt us.

Today's Mary challenge is to read Romans 8:20-21 and find hope in the curse:

"Against its will, all creation was subjected to God's curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay." Romans 8:20-21 (NLT)

When Jesus comes again the cycle will end. This also happens when we die; if we carry Jesus in our heart we will go to heaven and be with God free from pain. I like the against our will part...but we continue on because God granting us life is a gift. And I don't want to overlook any gift, large or small, from the Lord--even when that means I have to do extra laundry because my daughter likes to play in the dirt all day or extra dishes because we had company visit. These are gifts that give me hope as well.

You can read about the Fall of Man and the Curse in Genesis 3.

(Sarah Mae did a very good job explaining the theory of the Curse. And I agree with her, the concept makes sense, I just feel like there is a lot more to it. These are my opinions and this is probably the most controversial topic I have written about yet. So...I am open to thoughts or ideas on the subject.)

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 6: The Six List

This is an amazing concept! Sarah Mae describes the story very well, but the main idea is at night you write down 6 things that you need to accomplish the next day in order of importance and then mark them off as you finish. It is so simple!

I have a hard time sleeping at night. One of the reasons (though it is a combination of many things) is because I can't get my mind to slow down. Sometimes I take the time to unload what is on my mind onto paper, which usually results in a list of things to do.

I think this will help me out a lot actually. By doing it consistently and before it plagues my mind so.

I'm visiting my parents with Zoey this week so I'm not home to do the Martha Challenges. But I will catch up on a few that need to be done when I get home.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Zoey and Pops

Zoey and Granny

Day 5: Priorities

Zoey helping Granny and I cook breakfast

Priorities is an interesting subject. It is really easy to state what you priorities should be and most of the time a lot more difficult to actually live with those priorities. One of the things I read before about priorities is that deviating from them (in action) does not always mean your priorities are off. Let me explain...

My priorities look like this:
1. God
2. Husband (Stephen)
3. Children (Zoey)
4. Myself (including my sanity and my soul)
5. Home (well getting the dishes done has to be somewhere on the list)

My daily routines usually include feeding, playing with, teaching and generally spending lots of time with Zoey. However, this doesn't mean that God and Stephen are not still a higher priority. It just means that in action, Zoey (who is a 2 year old and very active little girl) takes more of my working time. I mean, God is always there and with us even when we are busy doing something else He can still listen and hear our hearts if we stay in tuned with Him. And Stephen doesn't get home until 5pm. So it makes sense that most of my day is spent with Zoey.

In addition to this thought, it is also possible to combine priorities. Like when we have family time with God, when Stephen, Zoey and I do activities as a family and when Zoey helps me in the home (she loves to cook and is learning how to put dishes up, which is awesome).

I make this point because I think it is important, but that doesn't mean I have it all in order. I still have lots of improvement to make on my list of priorities...

1. God

I feel like I have a very strong overall relationship with God. We communicate constantly throughout the day. I don't wait to say my prayers at night, I'm talking with Him all the time. I life up others as I feel it pressed on my heart, I ask for help and give thanks constantly. God will even speak to me if He feels the need and most of the time I do a good job of listening.

However, I slack in the set aside study time and spending time in His word. This is an area I am constantly struggling in. I tend to read the Bible when it is convenient for me or if I have something specific on my heart. I always say I will wake up, spend Bible study time with God and then write. But, I am selfish in that I throughly enjoy sleep and give myself the excuse that Zoey takes all my energy so I need it. That is probably not really true, but it's a pretty good excuse don't you think? Honestly, there is no excuse, but it is where I strive to improve.

2. Husband

I love my husband! He is the strongest, most honest, kind, funny, handsome, good hearted man I know. The biggest thing I work on with Him is to not nag. I generally do really good with this. I know because he tells me if I start (which I told him to do). The only time I rarely start is if I'm really tired, so I try not to let that happen to much (see to need sleep excuse above.)

I know Stephen love me and I want him to know how much I love him too. That is what I strive for. I want him to be able to come home and find peace after a long day at work. I want Zoey to be taken care of so he doesn't have to worry about her when he isn't home. Mostly, I want him to be happy and content being with his family (Zoey and me!)

3. Children

Zoey is such an amazing little girl! She constantly surprises and impresses me. I love watching her grow and I can't even begin to express my love for her. We spend a lot of time together. We learn letters, numbers, etc, she loves to help me cook, we do crafts and she helps me with the garden while we spend time outside. I am very thankful that I have the opportunity to spend so much time with her.

The main thing I strive for with Zoey is more patience. I have struggled with (and immensely improved) my temper. But nonetheless, nothing brings out my temper like my daughter. I need to take a time-out when she starts getting on my nerves so I wont yell at her. I really hate that I even want to. God is working with me on these things and I think it is getting better (which is good since she is entering the dreaded terrible twos).

4. Myself

I put myself next because the home can only be as cheerful as I am in it. I still need to work at taking care of myself and doing things that make me happy and wind-down from taking care of everyone and everything else. I tend to get irritable when I haven't had time to decompress, so I do make that a priority. I feel selfish when I do things I want to do when so much else needs to get done. However, I'm learning that my home is much more happy for everyone if I am happy (what's that saying? If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy.) I love to scrapbook, write, take photos and read. I'm doing much better about giving myself time to focus just on me.

5. Home

My home is a priority. I want a clean and comfortable home that is a haven for us to rest in. I put this last because it is important, but doing the dishes (or whatever chore is up) will always come after spending time with my family. I'm doing much better with a flexible schedule to work on the house. I do laundry every Monday so it becomes a routine. I do the dishes in the morning time between breakfast and lunch and don't give myself a hard time if I don't get them done everyday. I pick up the living room at night (though that is the one that gets lax the easiest.) So it all gets done and I'm not stressing about it anymore. I am now starting to be able to play with Zoey and not be thinking about every chore that needs to be done around the house.

Well this is my list and where I need improvements. Do you have a priority list? What does it look like? How do you handle balancing  your priorities?

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 4: A Place to Put Your Feet Up

This day has my name on it! I grew up in a house that was never spotless because we were too busy living in it. I wanted my house to be the same way. I believe it is. Friends are always welcome and they know they don't have to look a certain way or act a certain way while they are here. They are friends and friends are our family so that is how I treat them. My mom always told me this: if you come to see my house, make an appointment, if you come to see me, drop in anytime. I really like that. My house is pretty much never spotless, but it is clean. There will always be toys on the floor, book lying around and projects half done, but that is our life and I love it! Our house may not always be super clean, but it is always filled with love!

Today's Martha challenge was to clean the microwave. I've been waiting for this one to pop up, and dreading it. This is my least favorite, non-daily chore in the kitchen. I always think I will keep it up and clean as the mess happens, but that never happens. I'm doing good to do that on the open counter tops. I actually debated about skipping this challenge with the excuse that today is the last day I have to get a weeks worth of things packed to go visit my parents in FL. Then, I decided that would just be cheating myself, so I did it. I will say the lemon juice idea helped a lot...put lemon slices (or I used juice) in a bowl of water and heat it for 3 minutes. It really did help the particles come off more easily. I was actually impressed at how quickly and efficiently I was able to finish this project. I am almost embarrassed to put up the before pictures, but I am quite proud to put up the after pictures.

Before: If it isn't obvious, the microwave is within arms
reach of the chair Zoey eats and helps me bake in.

After: Wow, I can see my reflection!

Before: Yucky!

After: Wow, I didn't know it could look that good!

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 3: Give Life to Your Home

Wow, that's a good list...For day 3 in Sarah Mae's 31 Days to Clean she features her sister-in-law, Renee, who provides 10 ways to give life to you home. Every one of them speaks to me in some way. A few I do really well with like meeting mistakes with love, giving words of encouragement (okay, I still need help figuring out how to speak encouragement to my 2 year old who now screams whenever I try to put a diaper on her...potty training time anyone? Well, we are working on that. Anyway...), planning fun activities for the family and playing worship music. These are things I do and generally enjoy.

Zoey enjoying playing outside while we
listen to worship music

However, I am working on some of them too. Three stand out to me that I need work on:

1. Getting out of the house regularly to rejuvenate: I get out, but it is usually to go to the grocery store. And if Zoey is with me, like she often is, it isn't really a rejuvenating experience. I have been trying to find something to do that gets me out of the house, but so far there is always something standing in my way. It is either a night I can't commit to, it costs to much money or isn't a regular but a sometimes thing. I'm doing the yoga/workout thing regularly, which has helped a ton, but it doesn't get me out of the house. So I'm working on it, but I at least realize it is an area I need to figure out. That is a good step in the right direction, right?
2. Clear the clutter: yep, I'm always working on the clutter part. I do really well for a week or so and then as soon as the schedule is inevitably interrupted by a night out, I'm feeling bad or just plain exhausted the house becomes a clutter trap until I can't take it anymore, clean it and the cycle starts all over again. If you have any ideas on the clutter issues, I'm all ears because I don't really have an answer to fix that cycle.
3. Facing depression/anger: I wouldn't really call myself depressed at all, but I do go stir crazy every once in a while. It's a lot better since it is now warm out and we go outside all the time, but I still get bummed out sometimes being stuck in the house. I think it is pretty normal, but I don't always go to God with it. It seems like that one thing I feel like I can handle on my own, which of course I know that I can't. So I need to go to God first with depressing issues instead of a last resort. ...On the anger side though, God has been working with me for years so that the temper I had as a kid hardly ever rears its ugly head anymore. Until I had a kid, go figures. Did I mention she is two and has a temper of her own. Nothing has stirred up the temper I have learned to control like my daughter (who probably inherited my temper, that's karma for you.) She will scream and scream when I try to put clothes on her like I'm scalding her with hot water, it drives me crazy. I admit this only because I am human and God is working on this with me hard because I don't want it to be an issue again. 

So that is my can dos and needs to work on. The list in 31 Days to Clean is really good and I honestly only scratch the surface of what it so eloquently states as ways to give life to your home. Sometimes it is nice to stop and take stock of yourself and how you act in your home. I am very excited about the things I do well and it helps me to focus on the things that need improving. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13.

And thanks to the Martha challenge, my cabinets are clean!!! I can definitely tell which counters of the kitchen I use to prep on most often because they are the most dirty. But they look great now!

BEFORE 

AFTER: it looks a little different right?
It feels a lot cleaner at least!

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.

Day 2: Created to Give Life

It is day 2 in my cleaning challenge and I'd say it is more about cleaning the heart the the house, so far. I cleaned the kitchen recently, but it was good to do it again. Our biggest pitfall in the kitchen is leftovers. (Well at least since I'm getting a better and better system for washing dishes, they are already all clean!) We usually have about one serving of food left from dinner that we save. Usually, Stephen will take it to work and eat it there or Zoey and I will eat it fro lunch. However, there are some weeks where the leftovers just pile up. I dislike letting food go to waste, and I dislike handling food with mold on it even more than that. I'm not a germaphobe by any means, but come on, that is just gross. So that is the Martha challenge for me today...clean out all the left overs. I have recently followed a rather handy system to help in this process though. That is to put the date on what meal it is on a label (i.e. masking tape) so I know how long something has been in the fridge. It has helped me catch the older ones before the mold sets in at least.

BEFORE

AFTER: wow, it looks empty now, but clean!

But on to the heart matters...We are created to give life. That is a simple statement that I think many of us forgets about on a daily basis. I mean, it's obvious women give life because we birth babies. But I think it goes beyond that. Sarah Mae includes several ways that women (or people in general) give life, but I find one in particular that calls to me. That is to create an atmosphere of peace. All the things we do for our family and ourselves is thwarted if we do not feel comfortable and at peace in our surroundings. It actually ties into my mission statement from Day 1 of the challenge about having a clean area so you can think and breed creativity. By having a clean area we can breathe and find peace in our home. I want Stephen to come home from work and be able to relax in peace (environment at least, there isn't much I can do about Zoey running to jump on him when he walks in the door.) I want Zoey to be able to play and feel comfortable to learn. I want to feel comfortable while I write and live as well.

This also means to me that Zoey and Stephen come above any housework. I give life, and though that means I want a peaceful and clutter-free home, it also means I am there for my family for support and playtime. I feel like I spend a good bit of the day doing nothing while I sit with Zoey, but the more I think about it the more that statement is incorrect. Even though I feel like I'm just sitting with a list 10 feet long of things to do, I'm actually bringing peace to Zoey. She knows that I am there for her no matter what else. We sing, play blocks, read, do puzzles and anything else she brings me to explore. She is working on her letters now (she can almost spell her name, it is so cute!) She is also working on counting. I love how much she can understand and surprises me everyday by doing things on her own that we have talked about. For example, she spilled her crackers in the floor during snack time and immediately picked them all up before I could say anything to her. Times like that I know that what I do with her every day really does mean something and she is growing up to be a very good big girl.

There is a quote (p. 8) that I really enjoy..."Life-giving is about receiving from God in order to give to others. --Barbara Mouser, Five Aspects of Woman." I enjoy this because there are days when I feel like I can't give any more. But I know God gives me the strength and the purpose to give to others, so I enjoy fulling my purpose.

*Note: The challenge is associated with Joyful Mothering from the book 31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae.