Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Don't Limit Your Dreams

Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

When I was in college, I had this dream. I wanted to be a writer or a journalist and live in a city above a storefront. I wanted to be able to write in coffee shops and meet cool people. It was an idle dream because I didn't think it would ever happen; nonetheless, it was my dream and it made me happy just thinking about it.

We lived in Seattle for about two years before I looked up from my day to day scramble and remembered this dream from another lifetime. Here I was living in the heart of Seattle, a pretty big city by anyone's standards, and finally realized this is exactly where I want to be.

I write in coffee shops and know some pretty cool people. We didn't live over a storefront, but we did live in an apartment right across from a park that stretched along the Puget Sound. I didn't even know to wish for that part of it. Additionally, the bar on the corner was a hot spot for locals and had some pretty good pizza to boot.

It makes me think that we spend so much time wishing and hoping for things to happen, and then when they do, we don't appreciate it. Sometimes, we don't even notice.

My dream of living and writing in the city came from a different life than I ended up living. I thought that I would be single and move to New York. Once I met my husband and we settled down to have kids, I put those silly dreams away.

Only to find out, that even when circumstances change, there is something inside of us that still yearns for that simple dream. I had put limits on my dream so I no longer believed it could come true. Instead, it was I was married with a daughter that we moved to Seattle. Turns out, there is no time limit on dreams, nor is there only one way for them to come true.

I was so busy looking at my current dream of publishing a novel that I forgot the dream that got me here. To live and write in the city is a wonderful experience. I am thankful that I finally looked up to appreciate it. Now I will always know that my dreams can come true - because many already have.

You are never to old to dream. You are never to late to start something new. Time keeps moving forward whether you are ready or not. Don't close yourself off to new opportunities or fresh ideas.

Take some time to think about the dreams you have had in the past. Does anything you thought you wanted look familiar around you? Don't stop at the obvious, but the subtle as well.

Think about the dreams you have now. How can you bring those dreams alive around you?

Monday, September 18, 2017

You Can Always Begin Again

It's been a couple years since I've blogged consistently. I have to admit, I really missed it.

I stopped for a myriad of reasons. The biggest one being our move from South Carolina to Seattle. It was a great change for us and we are still here in Washington and loving it. Nonetheless, a lot of things changed during that time including our daily routine and my perceptive on life.

Once I stopped blogging, I had a really hard time getting started again. Even though I really enjoyed the process, I wasn't sure what I wanted to say anymore. The majority of my subject matter changed greatly, and I couldn't really figure out where to go next or what I wanted to say anymore. I started to develop a different style of blog, but it never really got off the ground. I got so frustrated, I just stopped.

I realize now that I put way too much pressure on myself. For something that was supposed to be inspiring and enjoyable, it became stressful and draining. Still, I missed it.

It was time to regroup and focus on why I enjoy writing to begin with. At the end of the day words inspire me. I write to understand and make sense of what is happening around me. No wonder I've felt so our of sync the last year or so.

I decided it is not too late, I can begin again.

The more I think about what I love to do and what I want to say, I realize that all I really want is a conversation. I don't need the intensity of having it all planned out, I just want to be able freely express myself.

I really enjoy learning and studying new ideas. I like to explore my surroundings and try to understand a little bit more about myself, others and the world around me. I want to be able to share thoughts and ideas see where they take me.

I am currently writing a book, piecing together a memoir project with a friend's grandmother, practicing yoga, learning to cook with fresh and seasonal ingredients, continuously crafting and studying all kinds of random elements and still doing that whole wife and mother thing too. Life is busy and crazy all the time. writing in its own way helps me keep what little sanity I have left. It also helps to organize my thoughts and respond to those around me more confidently.

I'm not sure exactly where this new adventure is going to go, but I'm excited to get started.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Small Demonstration of Love

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“She hugged her arms around his chest and leaned her head into his shoulder. She did this every night, and like most small demonstrations of love, it had a large impact. Dor felt a surge of calm whenever she held him, like being wrapped in a blanket, and he knew no one else would ever love or understand him the way she did. He nestled his face into her long dark hair, and he breathed a way he never breathed except when he was with her.”

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Where do you go?

"Where do you go when you're lonely?"

It's a line from the song "When the Stars Go Blue." It is a statement that has always intrigued me. Today I thought about it again. And in the process, got this song stuck in my head for an entire day.

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But really? Where do you go? When you are lonely, or sad, or angry, or when you just have to work things out in your head?

The commencement of the new year has brought on many contemplative thoughts for me to sort through. It actually started a couple weeks ago and my mind is in overdrive trying to figure out what I'm really doing with my life and who I want to be.

At thirty, you'd think I'd have some of this figured out by now. Some of it I do. I'm married to an amazing man and have a beautiful and very clever daughter. We aren't going to have more kids, but that is a story for another day. I'm a writer who is in the process of editing my first novel. Honestly, life is pretty good.

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However, who I am, well, that is decided each and every day. Am I kind? Do I build others up or tear them down? Do I spent money on material possessions or is it the experiences I treasure more? Do I speak positivity into my life or complain? These are all questions with answers that change every day (sometimes by the hour) depending on to many things to even try to list.

So here I am, day two into 2016 and finding myself in a very introverted mood.

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Going back to this song...

"When the Stars Go Blue"
by Ryan Adams

Catchy isn't it?

Where do you go when you're lonely and feeling blue? Where do you go when you need to sort things out, make decisions or decide who you are going to be?

I go to words. I crack open a notebook or a new document and open the flood gates of my mind. I attempt to put my emotions and vague questions into words and ideas that I can share with the world. I create fictional characters and situations to explore the depths of development that otherwise stay in my head.

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I've said it many times on this blog that if I don't write I would be insane or at the very least eternally depressed. This is my altar, it is where I go with my problems and prayers. It is where I think the best and where everything somehow starts making sense (at least as much as it is ever going to.)

Where do you go?

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I believe everyone has a talent or passion that they continuously go back to. I know people who think better with a soccer ball under their feet or a violin resting under their chin. Some go to a blank canvas that is in need of shapes and color. Others to create code that brings the magic of gaming to life. Some seek out churches or gardens. Some cook, other's travel, or sing or dance or take pictures. There is no limit to the things possible to achieve this same therapy when it comes to life.

No matter how good our life is there is always a moment that hits us where we question everything. Where we lose confidence in ourselves and sometimes even those around us. Sometimes life comes at us fast or changes without warning and we don't know how to react. We get overwhelmed and feel conquered.

This instagram post featuring One Tree Hill character Peyton Sawyer says it best...

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All we need to do is breathe.

And write. Or read. Or play. Or sing. Or dance. Or code. Or cook. Or go have a night out with friends. Or...

Where do you go?

Thursday, December 31, 2015

A New Day, A New Year ... Welcome 2016!

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Tomorrow reigns in a brand new year. I can't believe another year has already come and gone! Isn't that the funny thing though, the days go by so slow, but looking back on the year feels like it is speeding by.

I'm not a fan of new year's resolutions. I haven't made a list in years. Instead, I chose to do something a little different. I decide on a word that represents a challenge for me to grow in an attempt to better myself over the course of the year. This past year my word was confidence. Over the course of 2015, I have increased my confidence in myself and my abilities greatly. I look forward to my new challenge in the new year.

In 2016, my challenge is resilience.

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Resilience has two meanings: the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc, after being bent, compressed, or stretched; and the ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like. (

I tend to shrink whenever I am challenged. Instead of defending myself, I dodge the situation often running the opposite way. Resilience allows me to bend without breaking, building upon my newly found confidence, to be able to stand up for myself.

I also tend to feel guilty whenever I make a mistake and beat myself up about it. Resilience gives me the ability to recover and move on without self-condemnation, but the determination to do and be better.

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I look forward to beginning the publication process on my novel, which I am going to need resilience as I begin to receive feedback and criticism.

I'm sure there are cases where resilience will help me that I haven't even thought about yet. I'm excited to find out how much this character trait will help me become a better me. And how it will help me overcome my fears, insecurities and depression.

I look forward to 2016 and everything it has to offer. On the other hand, I am excited for what every day has to offer, whether it's the first day of the year or the last, a Monday or a Friday. Looking back on how quickly a year goes by, I want to focus on living in the moment and enjoying every part of life, the times of quiet solitude, overcoming struggles and joyous triumphs.

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Tomorrow is a new year and with that often comes this eagerness to change who we are. I don't want that, I like who I am. However, I can always be better. I can always learn more and grow as a person. That is what I want for the next year and the next day. For tomorrow I will wake up on January 1st, the beginning of 2016, but it will also be Friday, the end of this week. And I will enjoy the day and be thankful to be alive and surrounded by family and seek out goodness.

Live well and without fear, 
laugh every chance you get 
and love with all of your heart.

Cheers, Friend!
Happy New Year!

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