A New Day, A New Year ... Welcome 2016!

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Tomorrow reigns in a brand new year. I can't believe another year has already come and gone! Isn't that the funny thing though, the days go by so slow, but looking back on the year feels like it is speeding by.

I'm not a fan of new year's resolutions. I haven't made a list in years. Instead, I chose to do something a little different. I decide on a word that represents a challenge for me to grow in an attempt to better myself over the course of the year. This past year my word was confidence. Over the course of 2015, I have increased my confidence in myself and my abilities greatly. I look forward to my new challenge in the new year.

In 2016, my challenge is resilience.

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Resilience has two meanings: the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc, after being bent, compressed, or stretched; and the ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like. (Dictionary.com)

I tend to shrink whenever I am challenged. Instead of defending myself, I dodge the situation often running the opposite way. Resilience allows me to bend without breaking, building upon my newly found confidence, to be able to stand up for myself.

I also tend to feel guilty whenever I make a mistake and beat myself up about it. Resilience gives me the ability to recover and move on without self-condemnation, but the determination to do and be better.

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I look forward to beginning the publication process on my novel, which I am going to need resilience as I begin to receive feedback and criticism.

I'm sure there are cases where resilience will help me that I haven't even thought about yet. I'm excited to find out how much this character trait will help me become a better me. And how it will help me overcome my fears, insecurities and depression.

I look forward to 2016 and everything it has to offer. On the other hand, I am excited for what every day has to offer, whether it's the first day of the year or the last, a Monday or a Friday. Looking back on how quickly a year goes by, I want to focus on living in the moment and enjoying every part of life, the times of quiet solitude, overcoming struggles and joyous triumphs.

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Tomorrow is a new year and with that often comes this eagerness to change who we are. I don't want that, I like who I am. However, I can always be better. I can always learn more and grow as a person. That is what I want for the next year and the next day. For tomorrow I will wake up on January 1st, the beginning of 2016, but it will also be Friday, the end of this week. And I will enjoy the day and be thankful to be alive and surrounded by family and seek out goodness.

Live well and without fear, 

laugh every chance you get 

and love with all of your heart.

Cheers, Friend!

Happy New Year!

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The Best Decade Ever...Happy Anniversary My Love!

Ten years ago, September 22 fell on a Thursday. On this day a neighbor and mutual friend of mine and Stephen's invited us both to a pot luck dinner. Neither of us knew that this seemingly insignificant event would change both our lives forever.

2005

Nine years ago, September 22 fell on a Friday. I had high hopes for the day as I traveled from Clemson University in South Carolina to Orlando, Florida to visit my boyfriend who as working at Electronic Arts at the time. It was our one year anniversary and I couldn't wait to see him. What waited for me was a huge surprise: flowers, wine and a ring. I didn't hesitate to say "yes" to Stephen's proposal.

2006

Eight years ago, September 22 fell on a Saturday. We spent the day with family and friends on a beach in Treasure Island, Florida. We said "I do," smashed cake in each other's faces and drifted away on a cloud. I was then, and still am, so proud to call myself Mrs. McCusker.

2007

This year Stephen and I have been together for 10 years. That is a whole decade of living together, sharing life together and supporting each other.

A lot happens in a decade. You become a different person after ten years. Think about it. When you are age 10, you are kid. At 20 you are an adult. So wouldn't it seem logical that at 30 you become something different entirely. That every 10 years would bring a defining characteristic about yourself that you may not be able to define previously.

One of the things that I truly believe make a couple work together over time, besides honest communication, is the ability to let each other change, grow and mature. It is surely true in romantic relationships, especially marriage, but the need is there in any type of relationship.

For the last 10 years that Stephen and I have known each other, he has been playing and writing music. His music is one of his greatest assets, one of the many things that made me fall in love with him. It allowed me to see who he was and how he thought through different events and emotions. Music is how he first told me he loved me. He wrote a song and played it for me at a park in Clemson, SC one week after we met. It was a perfect evening, especially since I already knew I loved him too.

Now, 10 years later, I feel like his music has a piece of me in it. Over these years while we have met many different types of people, lived in many places, worked several types and levels of jobs, been in and out of church, witnessed births and endured deaths of several people we loved including our own three miscarriages. We have also created a life together that we cherish dearly, our daughter Zoey.

2005

We have grown and changed and overcome many obstacles together. I love that I am able to share my life, hopes, dreams, fears and short-comings with this wonderful man who always makes me feel like I am the most precious person in this world. I can do anything when he believes in me.

I has been the best decade. I am so grateful and damn lucky that I found this man that makes me better and loves me with his whole being. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years will hold. And the ten after that...and so on and so forth. I am so glad that I get to spend my days and years with him.

2015

Happy Anniversary, my love! It has been the best decade. It is the greatest life. I love you!

Life During the Teacher's Strike

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The fact that the Seattle Public School teachers are on strike is very surreal to me. I've heard of strikes before, but I've never truly experienced one. It's never been something that has affected me before, especially since South Carolina, where I've lived most of my life, is a non-union state.

Since moving to Washington, I've realized that strikes really aren't that rare. Although, most of the time, life pretty much goes on as normal.

The teachers strike; however, is hitting us right at home.

I've previously covered the details of the strike and what each side is fighting for so I won't retell that, please see my post "The First Day of School...But Not Quite Yet" for that information.

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Zoey was supposed to start school on Wednesday, September 9. Today would have been her 5th day in school. Instead we are home, trying to enjoy our extended summer.

The problem is this...Zoey was really ready to go back to school. She was all prepared with her new school supplies stuffed into an Elsa backpack. She was ready to see her new classroom and her teacher. Most of all she was ready to see her friends again. I believe that is what she is missing the most.

I am trying to keep my anxiety as low as possible as we go through the days of unknown. The last time the teachers went on strike it took three weeks to get the issues resolved. That is a long time. Negotiations are proceeding, but things seem to be moving slowly. Only time will tell whether the latest agreement will move forward to allow the 53,000 kids to get into the classrooms for the 2015-2016 school year.

A little peek into our mornings lately. I used to do preschool activities like this with Zoey and now she wants to do first grade activities. It has been quite a fun adventure, though I know she will be glad to go to school.

I was all geared up for Zoey to go back to school as well. I was ready with all of my notes and tentative itinerary to get some serious writing done and new routines created. It feels like life just went on pause. It has been challenging balancing everyone's needs and making plans because our information is day to day.

I fully support what the teachers are fighting for, so we are making the best of our time. We're doing a few school lessons at home during this time, including writing in her journal, reading and completing activities in her 1st grade workbook. Seeing her eyes light up over learning and writing again let me know how excited she is about school. It warms my heart that she loves it, not only the social aspect, but also the academics.

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This is at Zoey's school, Lowell Elementary

In light of the strike, I am very thankful that our family has the flexibility so that Zoey can be home and that we do not have to find child care options. Since I went down to part time recently (a decision that keeps proving to be the absolute right choice), Stephen and I are able to easily tag team throughout the week so that one of us will be home and the other still gets all the work needed done in the week. I can not imagine the anxiety level I would have if we had to worry about that aspect of this strike like so many of the parents must.

At the end of it all, I am thankful to live in a place that will fight for our children and also what they need to fulfill their own needs. It is a struggle, but one well worth it. I know for one thing, I will not be taking school for granted, ever.

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Celebrate Life! We Will Miss You Nana!

Grandmothers are joyful, independent, generous, loving, and full of spirit. At least Stephen's Nana was all of those things. I would even go so far as to call her spunky. She was a kindred spirit that would not indulge the foolishness of anyone. She could take care of herself and once even got into trouble by her doctors for excercising too much. Nonetheless, she was fierce, especially about her family and loved ones.

Christmas 2011
St. Petersburg, FL

On Thursday, June 4 we got the call that this marvalous woman had passed away. It was not unexpected since she had recently been diagnosed with cancer wide spread through her body. However, up until only a couple months before her passing she lived independently in her own home. After 88 years of taking care of five kids and many grandchildren, she passed peacefully in her sleep in her own bed with her only living daughter and son keeping her company.

I have been blessed to be a part of this family for the last decade. I remember the first time I met Mrs. Ida, though I have only ever called her Nana. I was nervous because everyone said that she was iron-willed and could be critical, especially when significant others were brought to her. I suppose I could see how those adjectives could describe her, but they were not ones that I would use. I was lucky, she immediately loved me. I don't know if it was something in my personality or my smile. Perhaps even the way that I looked at her grandson that did the trick. Nana was the last test I underwent before I was inducded in the family for good...somehow, I passed with flying colors. And now, ten years later, I am as grieved as her blood family of her passing.

Summer 2010
New Hampshire

Though even now, we continue to celebrate her amazing life and not mourn her death. We will miss her, but she was a flame who would have never wanted to be dampened. She wanted to burn bright right up until her end. And then, she would have not wanted everyone to wail and agonize over her death, but to dance and throw a party. She would have wanted everyone burn as brightly as she did, for the entirety of her life.

I will miss the confidence in which she conducted herself. I will miss her laugh and her eagerness to hear about Zoey and how our lives are going. I will miss her dancing to stuffed singing animals. I will miss her Wedding Soup, which we've made for Christmas several times. I will miss her silent pleasure as she hugged and kissed her grandkids.

Summer 2010
New Hampshire

I am at least thankful that Zoey was able to know one our grandparents. Both my grandmother and Stephen's grandfather had passed before we met each other. My grandfather, who was there along with Nana at our wedding, passed while I was pregnant with Zoey. But at five, Zoey has had many opportunities to get to know Nana and was sad as well by her passing. But she knew her laugh and her love and nothing can replace those memories.

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often
(Italian)

Nana will always be alive in our hearts. Her voice will live in the back of our minds, always encouraging and improving us to be the best that we could be. I am thankful to have known and loved this exceptional woman. We love you Nana!

I found this really cool collection of pictures from Easter of 2013. We were all at Stephen's Mom's house in North Carolina coloring Easter eggs:

Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life. ~Albert Einstein

There are so many moments and memories...

People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad. ~Marcel Proust

We love you Nana!

Happy Birthday, Husband!

Sunday was Stephen's birthday. It was a quiet day. It was perfect. We spent the day home, together. Also, we watched lots of football. It doesn't get much better than that.

Happy Birthday, my love!

Zoey was so excited about Stephen's birthday. I had to wake up and go to work for the early morning, but Stephen said the first thing out of her mouth that morning was, "Happy Birthday Daddy!" She is a pretty awesome girl, I know that meant the world to Stephen.

These two fill my heart to overflowing.

I think Zoey was possibly more excited about Stephen's birthday than he was!

Brownies are much better than cake, at least according to this one.

Zoey picked out Stephen's birthday present all by herself. As soon as he opened it, she set into explaining all the awesome things about the Lego set she picked out. I am sensing a common theme lately. Legos and more Legos!

It was a wonderful day. I'm glad we could make it special for Stephen, just by being together. My family means the world to me. My love for them grows deeper as each year passes. Who knew life could be this good?

My Cup Runs Over,

Enjoy the Little Moments!

Today was a really great day. It's one of those days where I simply stopped to enjoy the little things in life. I was able to get up and go to work, get my hair cut, and go to lunch with my amazing husband at a really wonderful sushi restaurant in downtown Seattle. It was a fulfilling day where I can't help but smile throughout it. I enjoy days like this...days of contentment.

A before and after of my hair cut.

I don't really like going to get my hair cut. In fact, I often leave disappointed. However, this time, the  hairstylist really seemed to grasp what my hair needed. After explaining what I wanted, she went right to work. I wanted it to be a little sorter, but only by a few inches and lighter. She cut it to the perfect length and then put long layers in it so they were noticeable. It made my hair so much lighter, which I love. She also gave me long, swooping bangs that end where my layers begin, I love how it frames my face. I even like the part on the side, though it will take some time to get used to that. It is a small thing to get my hair done, but it makes me feel confident. I like that.

#SeattleSunset

To top off the day we had another amazing sunset over the Puget Sound. This is what I saw while I waited for Zoey to get off the bus. It is like our own little piece of heaven.

Our view of the Olympic Mountains

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

Enjoy the little things in life!

Christmas Memories 2014

This was a Christmas to remember. Every year we spend Christmas day together, just Stephen, Zoey and I as a family, but this year was still different. As our first year living in Seattle, we were completely on our own. We didn't go see any family before or after Christmas day like we usually would. We saw everyone back on the east coast during Thanksgiving, but we won't be back until spring. This was our first Christmas in Seattle and it was an amazing one. 

There really is truth in the quote "home is where your family is." Even though we were in a new city and a new home, it still felt like Christmas.The anticipation leading up to it felt different for me (read more of my thoughts on this: Merry Christmas...Here's to Magical Memories); nonetheless, it turned out to be a wonderful day.

Zoey didn't wake up until almost 8:30 am. I have to admit I was thankful to be able to get the sleep. I woke up to use the bathroom and peeked in the living room to find Zoey sitting on the coffee table staring at the Christmas tree stocked with presents. I sneaked back into the bedroom just in time for her to come running and jump on our bed.

Zoey found her stocking and new friend, which she named Fifi. 

A quick pose while we made coffee and prepared the living room for unwrapping chaos.

It never seems like there will be much under the tree, but every year I am surprised by what is waiting to be unwrapped. Zoey was so excited to see her name on the presents, yet she still constantly made sure her daddy and I had something to unwrap as well. There are moments when her sweetness simply takes my breath away.

Zoey reading the names on the presents...she was so excited!

Since we weren't going to get a traditional Christmas with our extended family, Zoey's grandparents mailed some of her gifts to put under our tree for Christmas morning. It was really exciting to see her enjoy all of her new surprises. She was very thankful and really loved everything she received. I am blessed to see her grow up and get more and more big kid things.

Zoey loved her Hello Kitty rain boots...perfect for Seattle's weather.

I loved Zoey's reaction to this much desired Princess Lego set.

 Zoey was much more specified in her wish list this year. Instead of simply wanting Legos, she wanted the Rapunzel Tower Lego set; instead of a Barbie, she wanted the Barbie with two puppies who walk; instead of toys, she wanted a new Shopkins set. She even requested a chapter book at 5 years old..."Pippi Longstockings." She got it too and we've enjoyed reading a chapter a day over the past couple of days. It is very exciting to see her grow up and really know what she wants.

Zoey announced..."Mom, this is the exact Barbie I wanted!"

 Zoey takes the highlight for most of the day, but Stephen and I had a blast giving and getting presents too. I was so excited to receive a Bluetooth speaker system, a couple much desired books and more. Stephen got "Ender's Game," Adventure Time Munchkin, a remote control car and more, including Legos. It was a great time spent together, we laughed and played and truly enjoyed being together as a family.

There is nothing greater in this life than to sit and laugh with those you love.

The star of this Christmas was Legos. Stephen and Zoey got three sets of Legos and then Zoey received a bucket containing 1600 bricks to create her own masterpieces made by her own imagination. Zoey and Stephen both were in Lego Heaven. It was the first and last thing played with during the day. I enjoyed seeing them so happy.

Every little boy's dream. And girl's dream. And grown man's dream...swimming in Legos, a dream come true.

They built all the sets together first.

Then it was time to break out the monster bucket.

...A beautiful sight.

 It was such a great day. We played and laughed from the moment we woke up until our eyes closed that night. I didn't want the day to end. It felt like a moment suspended from reality where anything was possible and it was impossible not to feel absolute joy. It was a Christmas day full of magic and love...it doesn't get it any better than that. We are in new city with new people and new routines, but family remains the same, I am so blessed.

Christmas Day sunset over the Puget Sound as seen from our porch.

I hope you had a Christmas full of magic and joy. No matter where you are or who you are with be blessed for these moments that take your breath away...it is what we live for.

Merry Christmas!