Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Someone Who Matters

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I have always wanted to matter, to change the world for the better...to make a difference. When I was young, I thought I had it all figured out. I wanted to be an engineer as I graduated high school. I wanted to build buildings or bridges, something that everyone could see. I wanted to be a journalist when I graduated college. So everyone would read my inspirational, informative stories that made a difference in the community. Once I became a stay-at-home mom, I wanted to be a famous blogger and change the world that way. When I got back into the church, I wanted to be a great bible teacher and inspire the world. I've always wanted to be someone who matters. I've always wanted to do something big.

The other day I was on Facebook and came across this post by "Humans of New York" - a group who interview and take pictures of real people doing whatever it is they are doing or learning at that moment. It is fascinating and very real.

Anyway...this is what I read:
"At this point in my life, I'm trying to figure out the things I truly care about."
"What's something you care about less than you did ten years ago?"
"Being extraordinary." 
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This idea really stuck with me. It is where I am at. I am trying to figure out what really matters to me. And I am realizing, I've spent my whole life trying to do something big, trying to be extraordinary. Everything I wanted and everything I dreamed for was larger than life. Now, I just want to enjoy life. I want to be in the little moments. I want to be real. 

Stephen, my husband, said something the other day that meant a lot to me and goes along with this idea. He said that everything Zoey knows, I taught her. That acknowledgment really meant a lot to me. I don't think about it often, but Zoey is four now and can already write her whole name, knows all her letters, numbers (1-20 plus counting to 50), shapes and colors, answer basic math problems and is quickly learning to read. I taught her these things. Of course I cannot the deny the huge influence of Stephen, Sunday school and a few select electronic resources, among other people and things. However, it is liberating to know the impact that I have made and am still making in my daughter's life. How much of an impact I make in my husband's life. I am not a person who would claim to have many friends, but the ones I have are true and mean everything to me. 

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I am realizing that being someone who matters does not mean I have to do something great or be noticed by many. I do not have to be extraordinary. I don't mind being ordinary. There is something beautiful in just being me. There is joy and peace in my life with my family and friends. I am enjoying having this time to really process thoughts, even if they don't go any further than this little blog. It may not make a huge impact in the world, but it makes a huge impact to me. I will continue to strive to encourage and uplift others, to find my place and connection in the universe and enjoy all of the little moments that make life worth living.

I've always wanted to be someone that matters. Turns out I am. I am blessed, and I hope to be a blessing to others. That is what life is all about.

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