Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Memories Erased

I have learned over the years why I love photography so much. It is more than enjoying pretty pictures, it is more than the natural knack I have for it, and it is so much more than making money, which I would love to do. It is about the memories.

I have a bad memory. I have a hard time remembering moments that happened days ago, let alone years ago. So I have come to carry a camera constantly in my hand and record my memories as I go. I remember through moments and pictures. This is also why I love scrapbooking so much. I want to remember and I want to share these memories with my family and friends, and especially Zoey.

However, I have become slack on backing these up. So today I made it my project to back up all my photos for the last (not quite) year. I got about halfway and my stomach started bugging me. So I laid down, with my computer still up and running, and went to sleep. When I woke up my cat was on top of the keyboard and all the pictures out of my main folder were gone.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am panicked! I am angry! I am heartbroken.

I try all I know what to do. Stephen tries all that he knows to do. But they are gone. We saved a few, but I later realize it was mostly the "fuzzy" ones that I was deleting to begin with and the ones I had already backed up.

I am lost.

I still don't know what to do.

I do have most of the occasions either on Facebook or a special folder that I use for scrapbooking. But still, they are only part of the collection of photos.

The worse part is that I had all of the Family Reunion pictures in the folder that was erased. I was going to copy all of them and give them to family members. I do still have a good number of them from my scrapbook folder, but it is only part of what I took. Of over 700 plus that I took there are only a little over 300 left. I am sad and I feel horrible because even though most of the ones lost were different shots of the same ones I have, I wanted to share the ENTIRE collection. I'll still send what I have though it is less than 300 of the actual reunion because I took pictures during our travel too.

So I will recover as much as I can, but I still feel heartbroken that I lost my pictures. I feel like part of my memory has been erased. I know this is an overstatement and for sure a first world problem, but I am taking it hard. This on top of my already emotional state this past week or so that I have no idea why I am having it has been a rough day.

I don't like talking about things that are downers, but I needed to share this. And my Lovin Life post will mean a lot more this week I think.

I feel like there is some big lesson to learn from this. Maybe live in the moment or make you own memories. But those feel so hollow. Like I said photos are my moments and they act as my memories. Then again, maybe I am being told something...it wasn't too long ago that my camera broke and I was without and feeling a similar way. But I love my pictures. I don't think I will be slacking on backing them up any time soon, that is for sure.

3 comments:

  1. I COMPLETELY know how you feel. Our house was broken into and we were robbed. The one heartbreaking thing they took was my computer. Filled with ALL our family pictures and memories..(some were luckily on my husbands computer too)..But all of my oldest son's pictures of the first year and a half of his life and our new baby are gone. I literally couldn't talk to anyone for days. It hurt so bad.. I should have back them up more, I should have at least printed them. It happened two weeks ago and is still painful. I try not to think about what I lost but what I will capture from now on. Doesn't take away the pain, but it helps.

    I am so sorry that happened to you too. Hopefully, there is something that can be done. You could try your local camera store or computer store to see if they can retrieve the files. They charge, but it might be worth looking into.

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  2. Oh my goodness, that is heartbreaking. I think I'd have just sat down a cried. I suppose it is good that you still have some of them, but I'm sure it is little consolation.

    I've started using Flickr Pro to back mine up since they are off the computer and stored at full size. It's about $25 a year, but that way if my computer is stolen/broken or we have a disaster, I can store them somewhere untouchable.

    I'd echo the comment above, it may be worth taking the computer to an expert. I remember my photography class instructor talking about how most things are never really fully deleted until there are certain procedures done. May be worth seeing they can salvage some of them.

    Either way, I'm so sorry.

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  3. Thank you. I needed to hear from some who understand. Unfortunately my husband is one of those people you would pay money to take your computer to and get it fixed and he couldn't recover them either. It is amazing how much of a lost it feels to loose photos, especially as a photographer. There are a lot of what ifs and silly me for not backing them all up sooner. I do like the idea of using online picture backup because then it isn't just on a computer, disc or book it is in a whole other storage way that you can access from multiple sources. Thank you for caring.

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