I often say I have a bad memory, and comparatively I do. I have trouble recalling exact phrases of anything and memorizing scripture is a chore for me. I've let this be an excuse for a long time. I still memorize, but it takes a long time to truly process recallable information.
Since it takes me time to process these things, I get frustrated when lots of new, interesting and challenging ideas come at me. There are some many ways to get nuggets of Godly wisdom now -- Facebook, email, Instagram, twitter, Pinterest, even bible studies that I can pull up every morning right on my phone. I try so hard, to the point of becoming stressed, to allow time for all of these thoughts, ideas and brilliant moment of Godly wisdom to sink in. However, at the end of the day, I often can't recall one piece of information or wisdom to think about. And I get frustrated.
Then it dawned on me. "I" don't have the answer. God!?! Why is this frustrating me so? I stopped, stood still, and cried out. Almost immediately, God pressed on this on my heart:
"Why are you trying to hold on to each piece of information? These are seeds that I am planting in you. When you need it I will give it back to you."
You see, these were good pieces of knowledge that I can use in wisdom. But God knows how my mind works, of course He does, He made me. And I was stressing out for nothing. God already had a plan, I just had to stop long enough for him to let me in on the process.
And it works too. Several times, though I don't remember when or where I read something, when I needed it, it would be there. Every time I've double checked it, the information was spot on. Including details, that I would never remember on my own.
I no longer feel like I should read a bible study because I'll forget it by the end of the day. Now I let it wash over me, after writing down what it presses on my heart or important quotations. But I try no to stress anymore, God is still working in me. But I know His plan for me -- to plant seeds and let them work in me and grow in my heart. When I need them, God provides the blossoms for me. I trust that He will always give me the words to say.