The Best Decade Ever...Happy Anniversary My Love!

Ten years ago, September 22 fell on a Thursday. On this day a neighbor and mutual friend of mine and Stephen's invited us both to a pot luck dinner. Neither of us knew that this seemingly insignificant event would change both our lives forever.

2005

Nine years ago, September 22 fell on a Friday. I had high hopes for the day as I traveled from Clemson University in South Carolina to Orlando, Florida to visit my boyfriend who as working at Electronic Arts at the time. It was our one year anniversary and I couldn't wait to see him. What waited for me was a huge surprise: flowers, wine and a ring. I didn't hesitate to say "yes" to Stephen's proposal.

2006

Eight years ago, September 22 fell on a Saturday. We spent the day with family and friends on a beach in Treasure Island, Florida. We said "I do," smashed cake in each other's faces and drifted away on a cloud. I was then, and still am, so proud to call myself Mrs. McCusker.

2007

This year Stephen and I have been together for 10 years. That is a whole decade of living together, sharing life together and supporting each other.

A lot happens in a decade. You become a different person after ten years. Think about it. When you are age 10, you are kid. At 20 you are an adult. So wouldn't it seem logical that at 30 you become something different entirely. That every 10 years would bring a defining characteristic about yourself that you may not be able to define previously.

One of the things that I truly believe make a couple work together over time, besides honest communication, is the ability to let each other change, grow and mature. It is surely true in romantic relationships, especially marriage, but the need is there in any type of relationship.

For the last 10 years that Stephen and I have known each other, he has been playing and writing music. His music is one of his greatest assets, one of the many things that made me fall in love with him. It allowed me to see who he was and how he thought through different events and emotions. Music is how he first told me he loved me. He wrote a song and played it for me at a park in Clemson, SC one week after we met. It was a perfect evening, especially since I already knew I loved him too.

Now, 10 years later, I feel like his music has a piece of me in it. Over these years while we have met many different types of people, lived in many places, worked several types and levels of jobs, been in and out of church, witnessed births and endured deaths of several people we loved including our own three miscarriages. We have also created a life together that we cherish dearly, our daughter Zoey.

2005

We have grown and changed and overcome many obstacles together. I love that I am able to share my life, hopes, dreams, fears and short-comings with this wonderful man who always makes me feel like I am the most precious person in this world. I can do anything when he believes in me.

I has been the best decade. I am so grateful and damn lucky that I found this man that makes me better and loves me with his whole being. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years will hold. And the ten after that...and so on and so forth. I am so glad that I get to spend my days and years with him.

2015

Happy Anniversary, my love! It has been the best decade. It is the greatest life. I love you!

Celebrate Life! We Will Miss You Nana!

Grandmothers are joyful, independent, generous, loving, and full of spirit. At least Stephen's Nana was all of those things. I would even go so far as to call her spunky. She was a kindred spirit that would not indulge the foolishness of anyone. She could take care of herself and once even got into trouble by her doctors for excercising too much. Nonetheless, she was fierce, especially about her family and loved ones.

Christmas 2011
St. Petersburg, FL

On Thursday, June 4 we got the call that this marvalous woman had passed away. It was not unexpected since she had recently been diagnosed with cancer wide spread through her body. However, up until only a couple months before her passing she lived independently in her own home. After 88 years of taking care of five kids and many grandchildren, she passed peacefully in her sleep in her own bed with her only living daughter and son keeping her company.

I have been blessed to be a part of this family for the last decade. I remember the first time I met Mrs. Ida, though I have only ever called her Nana. I was nervous because everyone said that she was iron-willed and could be critical, especially when significant others were brought to her. I suppose I could see how those adjectives could describe her, but they were not ones that I would use. I was lucky, she immediately loved me. I don't know if it was something in my personality or my smile. Perhaps even the way that I looked at her grandson that did the trick. Nana was the last test I underwent before I was inducded in the family for good...somehow, I passed with flying colors. And now, ten years later, I am as grieved as her blood family of her passing.

Summer 2010
New Hampshire

Though even now, we continue to celebrate her amazing life and not mourn her death. We will miss her, but she was a flame who would have never wanted to be dampened. She wanted to burn bright right up until her end. And then, she would have not wanted everyone to wail and agonize over her death, but to dance and throw a party. She would have wanted everyone burn as brightly as she did, for the entirety of her life.

I will miss the confidence in which she conducted herself. I will miss her laugh and her eagerness to hear about Zoey and how our lives are going. I will miss her dancing to stuffed singing animals. I will miss her Wedding Soup, which we've made for Christmas several times. I will miss her silent pleasure as she hugged and kissed her grandkids.

Summer 2010
New Hampshire

I am at least thankful that Zoey was able to know one our grandparents. Both my grandmother and Stephen's grandfather had passed before we met each other. My grandfather, who was there along with Nana at our wedding, passed while I was pregnant with Zoey. But at five, Zoey has had many opportunities to get to know Nana and was sad as well by her passing. But she knew her laugh and her love and nothing can replace those memories.

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often
(Italian)

Nana will always be alive in our hearts. Her voice will live in the back of our minds, always encouraging and improving us to be the best that we could be. I am thankful to have known and loved this exceptional woman. We love you Nana!

I found this really cool collection of pictures from Easter of 2013. We were all at Stephen's Mom's house in North Carolina coloring Easter eggs:

Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life. ~Albert Einstein

There are so many moments and memories...

People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad. ~Marcel Proust

We love you Nana!

NFL Championship Game Day!

Football plays a big part of life in our house. We all settle in the living room every Sunday (as well as most Monday and Thursday nights) to watch the NFL play. We cook lots of food and enjoy the family time.

Stephen is a die hard Patriots fan. I've never really had a strong alliance to any one team. My Grandfather cheered for the Redskins and the Panthers were the local team where I grew up. But neither of those teams captured my spirit. So, for the last nine years (the number of football seasons Stephen and I have known each other now) I've been cheering for the Patriots.

However, this year we moved to Seattle. Turns out they have a pretty amazing football team. Say good enough to win the Superbowl last year.

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Stephen is still a die hard Patriots fan. However, my loyalties have wavered. Not just because the Seahawks won the super bowl last year, but because they are a benevolent group of guys. The entire organization plays an integral part in the community.

Seahawks players, Sea Gals and staff visit patients at local hospitals during the holidays and distribute Seahawks holiday goods to the patients:

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Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman and his foundation, Blanket Coverage, hosted 25 families at the VMAC and surprised them with Christmas gifts:

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Quarterback Russell Wilson is a regular face in the Seattle's Children's hospital. The hospital's patients give him a big thank you for his support and encouragement:

I am humbled and proud to live in this city where so many people are trying to make a difference in the world. The Seahawks provide a rallying point for the community. The entire city becomes infected with pride and joy at watching the Seahawks play. Whether they play well or poorly, their fans are there cheering them on and giving a roar to the game. The players and the community win together and lose together...Seattle is the 12th man.

I love this video. The artists are local and shot this video all around Seattle. Zoey's school is even featured in it (the playground) though Zoey does not appear. It shows a glimpse of the spirit found everywhere in Seattle:

Thankfully, the Patriots are AFC and the Seahawks are NFC so Stephen and I are not often at odds in our football alliances. However, today is a special day. Both teams are only one game away from making the Superbowl. Today I will cheer for the Seahawks and then later for the Patriots. I have full respect for New England's powerhouse as well.

It will be a great day in the McCusker household. Full of football, super awesome nachos and lots of cheering (hopefully no booing).

Super Awesome Nacho Dip -- Thank you Stephen!

Waking up today brought a torrential downpour. It was raining so hard our patio couldn't drain it fast enough. It rains a lot in Seattle, but it doesn't often rain hard. It is more like a constant wetness and drizzle as opposed to the sky falling out. Today though, it shall be a good day in football with a wet and intense game.

I like it when the Seahawks play at home, it's always fun to hear your weather report on National television.

The view outside our window this morning.

The city is ready, I am ready and the game is starting...

The Seattle Space Needle
Photo by Stephen McCusker

Go Seahawks!

Go Pats too because Seahawks vs. Patriots would be the perfect Superbowl! I would win either way.

Woohoo, I love football season!

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UPDATE:

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Well that day of football could not have gone better! The Seahawks battle back from behind for a magnificent win! The Patriots dominated the entire game to a glorious triumph. It was a great day of football and it leads to quite the matchup in a couple weeks. Patriots vs. Seahawks in the Superbowl...it is a win win for me and I am so excited!

Happy Birthday, Husband!

Sunday was Stephen's birthday. It was a quiet day. It was perfect. We spent the day home, together. Also, we watched lots of football. It doesn't get much better than that.

Happy Birthday, my love!

Zoey was so excited about Stephen's birthday. I had to wake up and go to work for the early morning, but Stephen said the first thing out of her mouth that morning was, "Happy Birthday Daddy!" She is a pretty awesome girl, I know that meant the world to Stephen.

These two fill my heart to overflowing.

I think Zoey was possibly more excited about Stephen's birthday than he was!

Brownies are much better than cake, at least according to this one.

Zoey picked out Stephen's birthday present all by herself. As soon as he opened it, she set into explaining all the awesome things about the Lego set she picked out. I am sensing a common theme lately. Legos and more Legos!

It was a wonderful day. I'm glad we could make it special for Stephen, just by being together. My family means the world to me. My love for them grows deeper as each year passes. Who knew life could be this good?

My Cup Runs Over,

{Wordless Wednesday} As Close As Family

We had some friends visit us this past weekend that are as close as family. We have missed them since we moved. It brought our whole family great joy to see them again.

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." ~Flavia Weedn, Forever

What Is Life? A Robin Williams Tribute

Robin Williams was an amazing man. To hear of his passing the past week left an impact on all who ever saw or heard him on the big screen. I did not know Williams personally, I cannot imagine the turmoil that those who really knew him are going through. I do know that I can feel the void without him.

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Williams had 104 actor credits that spanned 38 years (1977-2015). That is an impressive resume for anyone in show business. I have not seen all of his movies, but there are several that stand out and have left lasting impressions on me and my family.

I did not entirely realize the demons that Williams faced. I remembered hearing that he suffered from depression and bipolar disorder, but those were just words to me. He made me happy, didn't that mean he was happy? The more I think about that question, the more I realize the answer is probably no. Williams was hilarious and always put his entire self out there. That is something that is hard for anyone to do even in a private setting and he did it in front of the entire world. He was either crazy or had an unlimited supply of courage. Honestly, he probably had both.

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Thinking about these questions and wondering how someone who brought such hope and joy into the world could be left with none, I began to contemplate what is life? Is life just this game we play? Do we focus only on how others see us? Do we take care of ourselves, of our soul, or are we just rushing forward to the next commitment, the next activity.

I have always been one to write things out and to look up wisdom and comfort in words. I love quotes. Quotations from movies, books, and famous people have given me the inspiration I needed to overcome pretty much everything I've ever needed to overcome in my life. Looking back at my many books of quotations, I am astonished at how many of them come from Robin Williams and his movies. While I contemplate the meaning of life and remember a great man and brilliant comedian, I want to take a walk down memory lane and highlight some of his movies and work that inspired me.

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Still, to this day, the first movie that comes to mind when you say Robin Williams is Aladdin. That probably has something to do with the impression (and obsession) that movie made on me when I was a kid. The things of our childhood never really leave us. It was my introduction to who Robin Williams was. It took me a long time to separate his voice with the Genie, I mean, weren't one in the same? In a way I suppose they were.

But oh, to be free. Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need, "Poof! What do you need, Poof! What do you need?". To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world. But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, that's never gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus. ~Aladdin

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I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am; I'm free hee! ~Aladdin

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The next movie with Robin Williams that made a big impact on me was "Hook." I don't what it is about the story of Peter Pan that has always drawn me in, but the idea of link fantasy and reality and finding what it means to truly live sent a powerful message to me.

Granny Wendy: So... your adventures are over.
Peter Banning: Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.

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"You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you...Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting."

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The other movie that made an impact on me was "Dead Poet's Society." I was much older when I read this book by N. H. Kleinbaum and then watched the movie starring Robin Williams as John Keating.

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

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There are many other movies starring Williams with many quotations and many memories. To go on and on would be endless. Robin Williams was a man of character, of many characters in fact, that inspired an entire generation. 

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I don't really have much else to say. This is a man that made many laugh, including me. He made people laugh until they were in tears. He made people who were in tears laugh. Laughter is the best medicine...it can heal the soul.

Here are a few more tributes that touched my heart...

The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

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What is life? Life is loving others. Life is laughing at anything, everything and just because. Life is precious. Life is short. Life has past you by before you even realize it is in you. Seize the day. Reach out to others. Love everyone (even if you don't like them very much.) Everyone is fighting their own battles, many of which you can't see. Every kind act of kindness is a reassurance that life is still worth living. Life is love. Life is laughter. Now go and live.

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R.I.P. Robin Williams, 

thank you for a lifetime of laughter,

you will be missed.