Too Much (Forgotten Poetry)

As I was organizing and going through some old piles (finally!) I came across this poem I wrote...

Too Much

Sometimes I'm mad,

but I love too much to hate.

Sometimes I'm tired,

but not in a way that needs sleep.

Sometimes I'm sick,

but nothing medicine can heal.

Sometimes I'm busy,

but have nothing to do.

What do you do,

when you don't know what to do?

Where do you go,
when you want to be in a crowd alone?

How do you manage,

when you don't even know the words?

When do you say,

I am me again?

Amanda McCusker

5-30-10

The funny thing about writing is that many of the issues you deal with come back around again. I could have written this poem today and it mean the same thing. I feel all of these emotions right now. 

May of 2010 was the year after Zoey was born. I'm sure I was dealing with a bit of cabin fever since that was my first year staying home with Zoey. She wasn't even a year old yet (about 9 months old) so I'm sure I was dealing with her transitions. Thankfully, she would have been already sleeping through the night. However, I remember not being able to sleep very well for a few months even after Zoey began sleeping all night in her own room. 

These are just guesses, I'm not one hundred percent sure what I was dealing with at that moment of my life. The important thing is -- I got through it. The fact that I can't recall the details behind this poem prove that I was able to work through what ever was troubling me triumphant.

Finding this poem is a sign. It shows me that I have been down this road before. I know I have strengthened in spirit, trust, love and knowledge of Jesus. I didn't have any doubts, but it proves that I will be victorious in my spiritual battles.