It is at this point of feeling lost that I realized what has happened. I somehow began to measure myself against the wrong ruler. We get lost, I know I do, in the day to day trying to please others. In getting the house clean, the dishes and laundry done, and getting food on the table. In trying to prepare for everything before it happens. In trying to accommodate everyone else schedules to the point that I was completely stressed out. Trying to be everywhere at once. When I worked as a journalist, it was always trying to get the best story or the best pictures, getting the best interviews or writing the most interesting piece so I would be on top and get noticed by my editor. It never ends, trying to please everyone around you. And as soon as the laundry gets backed up, or your child falls when you don't have a band-aid, or that amazing opportunity just passes you by -- you feel less, worthless, like you can't do anything right. Maybe that's just me.
However, and this is a BIG however, the thing that matters most in this life is that your heart is right with God. If you are keeping Him in focus, doing best you can and caring for others along the way, there is no greater honor. We need to look at God's standards, He wants us to work with a joyful heart, to enjoy helping others and to shine light and love into the world around us.
We will never measure up to people's standards. One reason is because they are always changing. We will often fall, but God is there to catch us and put us on our feet again.
When we do fall, or feel like we fail, we can not bring light in the world because our own self consciousness has dimmed it. There is no need to feel less because God has made you more. He wants you to walk in the confidence of His love and know that He is always guarding and guiding your path.