{Limitless Life} From Afraid to Courageous

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Freedom is a powerful word. Though sometimes I believe we take it for granted. Those who feel free don't think about it very much because they don't know what it means to be captive. On the other hand, those who feel bound to something (like fear or addiction for example) don't think about freedom very much because they believe it is not possible to obtain. For either group, freedom holds the power of life, the ability to love and the forethought of putting others in front of yourself.

I have been fearful for much of my life. I can't even explain why or the root of it. Nonetheless, I was always afraid of trying new things, meeting new people and going to new places. I didn't do very many exciting things growing up. I spent a lot of time with my family and spending time in places that were familiar. Now don't get me wrong, I had a wonderful childhood with family that never ceased to show their faithful love for me. I was blessed...still am. However, I was afraid.

I began to combat this fear of ...everything... beginning in middle school when a friend invited me to church. I found power in Jesus and began to take (very small) steps to face my fears. They did not go away, but I could find ways to live through them, taking on new things, new people and new places in stride. I was not without fear, but I could walk in faith that God would take care of me.

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My favorite bible verse during this time was Acts 20:22:

"And now I am bound by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem. I don’t know what awaits me."

This was Paul speaking and I identified entirely with his words. I felt bound to do things that frightened me, I believe God challenged me simply so He could show me that He would always be with me. I did not know what would happen, but Paul did it anyway because God was with him. So I would do it anyway because God was also with me. It worked.

I have been gradually facing my fears since, for almost twenty years now, with Jesus by my side. There are still moments when fear of the unknown grips me, but I am amazed at how far I have come. Now some of the things that frightened me twenty years ago don't even phase me. I can only thank God for that. When I really stop and think about it, I can't believe I am even the same person. In many ways I am not, God transformed me.

My goal lately has been to do something brave everyday. (Today I did two.)

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This article is inspired by a Bible Study with Proverbs 31 Ministries 

while reading Limitless Life by Derwin L. Gray.

{Limitless Life} Dwelling Place for God

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God created me. In His image He created us.

Genesis 1:27 --"So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them."

God used part of Himself to create us. We are made of the stuff of the stars. All the elements that God used to create the world, the galaxy, the universe are the same elements He used to make us. We are a dwelling place for God because we have been built together by the material used to create the stars. God dwells in the universe, in the existence of life itself, and thus He also dwells in us.

1 John 4:16 -- "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them."

We can put our trust in God because He is greater than anything in this world, in fact, He is everything in this world. He loves us and He lives in us, in our very being. At the same time, we dwell in Him because we are made of stardust. When we die, we return to His loving embrace. I am not only meekly surrendering myself in the arms of God, He is strengthening me from the inside out. God created me to live in this world, but more significantly, so He could live through me. I do not feel small under the vastness of the sky, instead I feel big because my God is there, He is everywhere. He is love.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson said it best in an interview where Time Magazine asked him what the most astounding fact was:

“When I look up at the night sky, and I know that, yes, we are part of this Universe, we are in this Universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up — many people feel small, ’cause they’re small and the Universe is big, but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars.”

Here is an astounding video of Neil DeGrasse Tyson explaining this:

Credits:

Video Edit: Max Schlickenmeyer

Narration: TIME Magazine's "10 Questions for Neil Degrasse Tyson"

Music: "To Build a Home" by the Cinematic Orchestra feat. Patrick Watson

I have felt limited by the thoughts of those around me. That things have to be a certain way with no room for change. I am through being limited in this way. I am ready to challenge my thoughts, my own ideas of who God is. I am done trying to define Him by worldly definitions. God is so much more than that. God is so much more than anything we could possibly image. 

Science and religion has butted heads ever since the black plague. Now, we know no other way than to stand on polar opposites on the subject. I believe science is our key to understanding the potential that God has given us by His creation. I don't want to be limited in my understanding of God, I want to reach for the stars. I am ready to have a limitless life. I am ready to believe in the power of science and religion, not as opposing forces, but as two ways to look at the same subject...God. And no matter how you look at Him...He is astounding.

Someone Who Matters

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I have always wanted to matter, to change the world for the better...to make a difference. When I was young, I thought I had it all figured out. I wanted to be an engineer as I graduated high school. I wanted to build buildings or bridges, something that everyone could see. I wanted to be a journalist when I graduated college. So everyone would read my inspirational, informative stories that made a difference in the community. Once I became a stay-at-home mom, I wanted to be a famous blogger and change the world that way. When I got back into the church, I wanted to be a great bible teacher and inspire the world. I've always wanted to be someone who matters. I've always wanted to do something big.

The other day I was on Facebook and came across this post by "Humans of New York" - a group who interview and take pictures of real people doing whatever it is they are doing or learning at that moment. It is fascinating and very real.

Anyway...this is what I read:

"At this point in my life, I'm trying to figure out the things I truly care about."

"What's something you care about less than you did ten years ago?"

"Being extraordinary." 

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This idea really stuck with me. It is where I am at. I am trying to figure out what really matters to me. And I am realizing, I've spent my whole life trying to do something big, trying to be extraordinary. Everything I wanted and everything I dreamed for was larger than life. Now, I just want to enjoy life. I want to be in the little moments. I want to be real. 

Stephen, my husband, said something the other day that meant a lot to me and goes along with this idea. He said that everything Zoey knows, I taught her. That acknowledgment really meant a lot to me. I don't think about it often, but Zoey is four now and can already write her whole name, knows all her letters, numbers (1-20 plus counting to 50), shapes and colors, answer basic math problems and is quickly learning to read. I taught her these things. Of course I cannot the deny the huge influence of Stephen, Sunday school and a few select electronic resources, among other people and things. However, it is liberating to know the impact that I have made and am still making in my daughter's life. How much of an impact I make in my husband's life. I am not a person who would claim to have many friends, but the ones I have are true and mean everything to me. 

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I am realizing that being someone who matters does not mean I have to do something great or be noticed by many. I do not have to be extraordinary. I don't mind being ordinary. There is something beautiful in just being me. There is joy and peace in my life with my family and friends. I am enjoying having this time to really process thoughts, even if they don't go any further than this little blog. It may not make a huge impact in the world, but it makes a huge impact to me. I will continue to strive to encourage and uplift others, to find my place and connection in the universe and enjoy all of the little moments that make life worth living.

I've always wanted to be someone that matters. Turns out I am. I am blessed, and I hope to be a blessing to others. That is what life is all about.

{Wordless Wednesday} Peace

photo by Stephen McCusker
Santee State Park: Santee, SC

Peace

"I remember a hundred lovely lakes, and recall the fragrant breath of pine and fir and cedar and poplar trees. The trail has strung upon it, as upon a thread of silk, opalescent dawns and saffron sunsets. It has given me blessed release from care and worry and the troubled thinking of our modern day. It has been a return to the primitive and the peaceful. Whenever the pressure of our complex city life thins my blood and benumbs my brain, I seek relief in the trail; and when I hear the coyote wailing to the yellow dawn, my cares fall from me — I am happy." ~Hamlin Garland, McClure’s, February 1899

Link up and join in the Wordless Wednesday fun!

Memorial Day

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Today is Memorial Day, a day to remember. It is a day special to me because my grandfather, Papa, died only a couple days shy of Memorial Day five years ago. Since Memorial Day was founded to remember our lost soldiers, it is fitting that I will always associate the day with him.

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My grandfather, Taylor Cogar, served in the army during WWII under general Patton. I remember the first time he ever talked to me about the war. I was in the 9th grade and we were to do a report on a WWII veteran. My mom suggested my Papa (her father). I was so nervous, but I called him (he lived in NC and us in SC.) He talked with me about some deep things, even more than the details of war, what it meant to him to be a part of it. It was one of the moments that changed my life. We spoke on the phone for almost two hours. It took several days to really process it. I remember making an A on that assignment, but more importantly it was the first adult lesson my Papa taught me about what it means to be there for others, to lift others up (sometimes literally) and to fight for what you believe in.

Papa and I in 2000 on Spring Break at Myrtle Beach

My Papa died the year Zoey was born. I was sad that he never got to meet her, but I know that he loved her, just as he did me. I learned a lot about life and who I wanted to be by listening to my grandfather's stories. He was a man who loved his wife and stood beside her through health and then sickness. He loved his country and believed the best in people. He was generous and kind, always helping out others before they had a chance to ask. He loved God and believed in the power of love.

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I am thankful to many people who loved me and taught me how to live. But it seems that on Memorial Day, when everyone talks about remembering our lost loved ones, I think of Papa. I believe part of that is because he died so close to Memorial Day, but also because he taught me the most about what this day really means.

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Thanks to Papa, I have absolute respect for anyone who puts on a uniform and serves our country with honor and dignity. I thank them for all they do, for all they sacrifice and for all they stand for. I thank them all for they all gave some and some gave all.

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Thanks to Papa I know the power of comradery. I understand that sometimes it is harder to live after watching those you love die around you. I thank all who truly lay down their life for their country. There is nothing more honorable.

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Happy Memorial Day!

{Limitless Life} Defined By God

I am very excited to begin this study with Proverbs 31 Ministries called Limitless Life a book by Derwin L. Gray. Before I begin the book, I watched this youtube video on his Website, which I thought was amazing!

I have often felt trapped by labels, unable to be myself because I had to be what someone else expected me to be. I am in the process of shedding that mindset. This book came at a perfect time because it deals with the very ideas I am struggling with lately.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV) -- "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

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I have not started reading the book yet, but I can't wait to pick it up. This study begins today, if you are interested in it sign up at Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies, you will not be disappointed. You will learn what God has in store for you and connect with a terrific group of ladies through the community these bible studies creates. 

We are defined by God, not by the labels of society. I am so excited to dive into this and learn more about what God means to me.

God Bless!

Tales From A Mother...The Journey of a Lifetime

When I began this blog five years ago, It was dedicated solely to motherhood. I chose the title "Tales from a Mother" assuming I would spend the entirety of this blog talking about raising my kids. A lot has changed in five years. I thought I would have several kids my now. Instead, I am thanking God constantly for the one daughter I have. I thought I would talk about raising kids; instead, it has turned into a place where I can figure out me.

This blog has gone through many stages. It began when I was still waiting on Zoey to be born. My first post ever was called "Patience in Pregnancy." I was so ready to be a mom.

Throughout the infant stages, "Tales from a Mother" was what I thought it would be. I have many posts about decisions we made in raising her and activities we did to stay connected with our family and friends.

There are several posts like:
"Coming Home with Zoey"
"The Good, the Bad and... Well Everything in Between"
"To Breastfeed or to Bottle feed... That is the Question"
"Stay at Home Mom!"

 It was soon after this stage that everything changed.

I had three miscarriages over the course of two years and it forever changed my life. This is the first big change of subject in my blog. I spent a lot of time in varying stages of denial, anger, depression during this time. I didn't know what to think or feel. In many ways, it changed who I was.

This was a time where was really searching, before I even know what to look for:
"My Doctor's Appointment"
"My Miscarriage"
"Everything Happens for a Reason"
"Miscarriage Completion and Musings on Life"
"Learning God's Lessons"

It was through this journey that I truly rekindled my search for and dedication to God.

The year I did daily devotions was the craziest year. I was always in the Word, to the point I didn't always see much else around me. I'm not sure this extreme single-mindedness was entirely a good thing. But I learned a lot and I was able to dig myself out of the whole those two years put me in.

Here are a few of my favorite and most popular Daily Devotions:
"Christ Lives In You"
"Speak Positively, Live Positively"
"The Faithful Love of the Lord Never Ends"
"Forgive Because We Are Forgiven"
"Confess Your Sins to Each Other"
"A Wife of Noble Character: Conclusions"

I was ready to help others, to be involved and serve God. It wanted to go back to church, to put the focus back on Zoey and others after a long time of self-evaluation and growth. However, I notice that I tend to go from one extreme to the other. So when I got involved; I got over-involved. I began to spread myself too thin and didn't even realize it until it reached a critical point. That is more or less where I am now, a new season where it is time to re-evaluate myself once again.

Some more recent thoughts:
"A Time For Everything"
"When Life Seems Overwhelming"
"Our Light Overcomes the Darkness"

It is very important, to always look at yourself to see where you stand and what you really believe. It is so easy to just go along with others because it is what the group does or what is expected of you. I have realized again and again that this is not who I want to be. Even if it is different, I want to be me. So that is what I'm trying to figure out now, and what "Tales from a Mother" is ultimately about.

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We each have a personal story and a unique journey in this life. I believe these differences should be celebrated, not condemned. In my own life I have gone from one end to the other and back again several times. What is the "right" way? I don't know. That's for you to figure out. Also, it is for me to love you regardless of what your conclusion is. Just as I am learning, once again, what my way is. It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about that belief. That is the beauty of God, He is greater than our judgments of each other.

When I chose the name of this blog, "Tales from a Mother," I had no idea the journey I was beginning. I am a writer, this is how I process thoughts, emotions and ideas. I started this blog talking only about motherhood. That is still a huge part of my life, but it not what defines me. I transitioned to talking only about God. That was great way to learn and grow in my walk with my Creator.

Now, I just want to be genuine. I don't want to be only an idea, either of motherhood or religion. I want to be a person, full of flaws, ideas and life. Even at this stage in life, I'm still figuring out who I am. I believe we never truly figure it all out. If we ever stop asking questions or challenging ourselves, then we cease to grow. Even amidst this time of discovery I am content and live in joy and peace. There is a beauty in the world that really lets me know that everything is going to be okay. And in the meantime, these are my tales...adventures, questions, and a life full of joy. I am so thankful for this journey and am excited to continue this grand, beautiful adventure called life.

{Limitless Life} What is Community?

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What is community? That is both an easy and difficult question. Community is where you live. It is made up of the people you share your life with. That is where it begins, but far from where it ends.

What community means to me opens up a whole new door on the subject. Community is everything. We are creatures who are not meant to live alone. We need the stimulation from others around us. We need to be challenged, supported, encouraged and loved.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV) -- "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

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I love this verse... we need to stir each other up! We need to belong to a group of people where we are confident to be who we are. A group where, even if we mess up, we know we will be picked up and can move on together. We need to stop neglecting each other and judging each other. Community is about consistently coming together to experience life together, encouraging one another when times get tough, motivating each other when we get discouraged or lazy, and being an accountability friend when we are trying to break bad habits and create new ones. Community is doing life together.

John 15:12-13 (ESV) -- "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."

That is our goal is life, is it not? To love like Jesus. He tells us in John that love means to lay down your life for your friends. That is powerful! And scary. It is a hard thing to give up our selfishness and put other's needs in front of our own. However, that is what love is...that is what community is. 

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What I need from community is a place where I can be myself, even when that doesn't fit into the traditional molds of denomination. I look to join with others who are searching, just as I am, for what it truly means to love like Jesus and lay your life down for your friends. 

I believe community is very important. I am not perfect, I will never claim to be. However, I can encourage you. I can lift you up when you are down. I can remind you of God's purpose for you when you become discouraged. I can love you and learn to love as Jesus does. I can walk with you through this hard, beautiful, crazy, inspiring thing we call life.

What is community? Community is love. 

I am excited to do life together.

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This article is inspired by a Bible Study with Proverbs 31 Ministries 

while reading Limitless Life by Derwin L. Gray.

DIY: Painted Word Art

I created, what I think is, a really cool piece of art. I wrote about why I chose this arrangement and what it means to me in a post titled after the name of the painting..."I Don't Want To Be Just One Thing." The style and design can be as original as your imagination, but I wanted to go through the general steps of creating painted word art like this.

Step 1

Choose your paper or canvas and paint it how you want the letters to look like. I used acrylic paint for this project because it dries quickly and easily allows for distinct layers.

I wanted five different lines to all be different colors. To do this I measured it out and put down guide lines in pencil to divide the sections evenly. Then I used painters tape to mark off each section as I painted it so it would stay neat. If you are good with painting straight lines, you could do it free hand with the guidelines, but painters tape is fairly cheap and makes it easy.

You can see the painters tape on the bottom of the red section in the picture. I had already pulled the tape up on top of the red section, but it gives you an idea at least.

Step 2

The next step is to make letters for what you are spelling. I used a stencil and cut letters out of painters tape using both scissors and an X-ATO knife. It took some time, but it was very effective. You could also use stickers to do this. However, make sure the stickers are easy to lift off the paper and do not stick or tear the paint underneath. You will need all the letters in your painting so you can cover it with the top layer of paint.

Step 3

The first part of this step is to lay down all the letters that you made out of painters tape or stickers. Make sure they are arranged exactly how you want them. Then cover the entire painting with your top color. Again, you can design this however you like, simple or complicated, the sky is the limit. I wanted mine to be very bold and simple so I chose black as my top color so the colors underneath would stand out.

One tip, that I learned through this process, is to outline the letters either with a marker of the same color or with the paint. I had a little of the paint pass under the edges of the tape making the edges look fuzzy when I first took the stickers off. Possibly, this could be avoided just by being aware of it and being careful around the edges of the letters.

Step 4

Next you must carefully peel the letters off of the painting.

As I said before, my letters were a little fuzzy at first from extra paint along the edges of the letters. I went back and fine tuned it with a permanent marker around the letters to crisp the edges and make the letters pop off the page.

And voila! You have a really cool piece of art. Happy Painting!

I Don't Want To Be Just One Thing

I painted this last week called "I Don't Want To Be Just One Thing." It is one of my favorites that I've done so far. It is a reference to Divergent, a novel by Veronica Roth. However, it is an idea that is really significant to me.

The quote that it is titled after is actually from the movie:

"I don't want to be just one thing, I can't be. I want to be brave and I want to be selfless, intelligent and honest and kind." 

But the quote from the book is what really made the concept powerful to me:

“We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don't want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest." 

I don't want to be just one thing. I don't want to focus only on one attribute of myself. I want to be all of it. I want to be kind, selfless, honest, brave and intelligent. And I want to uplift these characteristics in others as well.

These attributes are in the order that I hold them dear. If I were in the Divergent world, I would hands down be Amity, the ones who hold kindness over everything else. I mean I already strive to live in joy and work in my garden everyday. It doesn't get much closer than that in the real world. 

The one I really struggle with is bravery. It is what I have been working hard on lately. I believe bravery is important, especially how Veronica Roth describes it here:

"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

This is a book that really resonated with me. I enjoyed the idea of each individual characteristics creating a whole identity in each personality and in society. Each unique person will uphold these ideas in a different way. It reveals that our society will never agree completely on what the "right" way to live is; however, we can strive to uphold what makes us who we are without having to apologize for it. In the end, it all works together to complete the whole.

I created this piece of art as a reminder of the kind of person I want to be: 

• I want to be kind and always lift others up. 
• I want to be selfless and always remember there are ones who need and suffer more than I, and I can help them in big and small ways. 
• I want to be honest and genuine, I want to be able to be who I am without fear of reproach. 
• I want to be brave and do the things that scare me, especially when it comes to standing up for kindness, selflessness, honesty and knowledge. 
• I want to be intelligent and obtain knowledge to understand how the world works and why.

*If you are interested in making painted word art like this, check out my How-To article called, "DIY: Painted Word Art."*

Prayer Changes Us

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On the way home from church today, Zoey told me that her Sunday School class prayed for her. She said that they heard her coughing and prayed. They, just as I, know that she has had this cough for about a month now. After two different trips to the doctor, we have concluded it comes from a sinus infection that has been further aggravated by allergies. We now have medicine that seems to be working; however, she is still coughing. Thus, the moment of prayer over Zoey.

I expressed to Zoey how wonderful it was for her class to pray for her. I asked her if she felt any better. She said no. Then I asked her if she felt happy that her class cared enough about her to pray and want her to get better. She said yes, that she felt loved by her class. It seemed their prayers really affected her in a positive way.

This conversation made me think a little more about prayer and the power it has. Prayer is how we communicate with God and He with us. It is how we express our dreams and fears to our Lord. However, it doesn't matter what we say about ourselves or others, it does not change God. It will not change his mind because He cannot be changed.

1 Samuel 15:29 -- "And he who is the Glory of Israel will not lie, nor will he change his mind, for he is not human that he should change his mind!"

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However, prayer does change us. I've always believed that expressing to others that you will pray for them, and actually follow through on it, is one of the most powerful things you can do - especially when you stop in the moment to lift up prayers with them. It is not even that God would change the situation, though it is within his power to do so; instead, it is a simple way to show others, through action, that you care what happens to them. And that, in itself, is a very powerful thing indeed.

We go through this world of billions of people, living day to day, hoping to simply make a difference, to matter to someone, and to be loved by someone. When others stop thinking of themselves and take the time, the forethought, and the energy to pray for you, it means that they care. As one among many, there is someone who connects with you and that cares what happens to you. When we all care for each other, look after each other and lift each other up, we are loving our neighbors. It is the second most important commandment given to us by Jesus only after loving God (Matthew 22:39).

Zoey coughing this morning could have been a moment of sadness, frustration or illness; instead, because she has people who love and care about her, it was a morning of happiness, joy and learning. When we lift others up with our words and our actions, when we take the time and effort to pray for others, it changes us. It changes those we pray for, giving them a positive outlook and encouragement during a time of tribulation. It changes us as we pray because it helps us realize that everyone has troubles and we all need some love to help us through the bad days. When you reach out and help lift others up, they will be there to hold you up when you begin to fall.

It is a beautiful thing, the power of prayer. It is a joy to see love in the actions of those around us. Prayer changes us for the better. It lifts you up when you are down, it gives you light when you can't see, it brings love and companionship even when you feel all alone. Pray for others, lift them up, encourage them and when someone offers to pray for you, let them, it may just change your life.