Watching my Heart Fall

Zoey fell.

It was a pretty good fall too.

Yesterday evening after dinner we were playing and being silly. Zoey was in a recliner. We were paused from laughing for a minute while Zoey put her hat back on. She was leaning against the back of the chair, but as she put the hat over her face she twisted and leaned back too far over the arm of the chair.

My heart stopped.

I saw her falling, I think that was the worst part. I saw her falling and couldn't reach out to her in time.

I ran around the chair to her and she was already crying (this is actually a good sign.) She was on her face. What? On her face? But she fell backwards...turns out she did a flip on the way down. This too was a good thing, it's much better to land on your face than your head.

Crying, that's good. No blood, also good. Everything moving, definitely good. Now to calm her down and look her over better.

At this point I am on full alert! Checking for anything wrong or out of order with her. My heart is beating, but I can feel it in my throat.

After a close Mommy examination I notice that her tooth is chipped. One of the bottom, middle ones. It's only a corner chip probably less than a quarter of the tooth. I also notice a smaller chip, just the very corner of her upper, middle tooth (right above the lower one) chipped. Everything else checks out okay. There is a small knot forming on her forehead, but that is about it.

I cuddle my baby girl. She has stopped crying and is now very silent. I'm a little worried about a concussion.

While I am rocking my little girl, I call Stephen. I interrupted him at band practice, but I figured this is a fairly good reason too. Thankfully, he agreed. I actually had to call one of the bandmates' wife to interrupt them. Thank goodness I had her number.

Stephen is the crisis expert. He always knows just what to do. He was concerned about our little girl and started talking. After I told him the extent of my examination, he suggested to shine a light in her eyes to check for a concussion. If she reacted and her pupils dilated she was fine.

I got her up and moving because she was starting to fall asleep (big no-no when you hit your head.) I stood her up and got her walking around, which she did with no fuss and immediately woke on up. I got a small flashlight and shinned it in one eye then the other.

Her eyes were moving all around and then she turned away. Sigh of relief...she was okay. I didn't really see her pupils dilate but 1. I don't really know what to be looking for and 2. she didn't let it stay in her eyes long enough I don't thing. That is a good thing. Because she acted so immediately I wasn't too concerned about a concussion anymore.

In fact, she took the flashlight and started playing with it. Well, then she is probably okay.

Zoey playing with the flashlight with Granny.

She kept licking her tongue over her teeth, but I figure that is pretty normal. It does make your mouth feel weird when you chip a tooth. All in all, a chipped tooth is not a big deal. It's her baby teeth anyway, so though it may be a few years, she will lose them and get more.

I think the reason it bugs me so much is because losing teeth are one of my big fears. Not like getting them pulled or anything, but I have nightmares about falling or someone/thing hitting me and them falling out. (I hate watching boxing matches where they are spitting out teeth.) This fear probably came after I chipped my front tooth when I was about 15-ish. I was swimming and ran straight into the cement wall of the pool because I was swimming underwater with my eyes closed. I hated that moment and chipping my tooth, it still doesn't look 100% right, but thankfully no one comments on it or seems to notice much.

I don't really think Zoey will have the same fears as me in this regard just because she chipped a tooth. I doubt she will even remember the incident. And it hasn't stopped her any...

I made the beginning of this post dramatic, but she is fine! Last night she was doing puzzles before she laid down, so I'm not worried about her head at all. She is speaking, recalling and hearing completely normal. She even ate off of an apple before she went to bed. She is fine.

Zoey doing puzzles...yeah, she's good.

Of course, even though she is fine, I'm still a Mom and I still worry. I checking in on her a dozen times last night. Every time she was in a different position and breathing just fine.

I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but Zoey and I are visiting my parents this week. It happened in their living room. She probably wouldn't have even had a scratch on her except that their floors are tile. Turns out tile doesn't have a whole lot of give. And no, I don't blame them (or the floor) in the least.

I am a generally laid back Mom and let Zoey experiment and have a reasonable amount of lead-way when she is climbing and such. I won't be any different about that after this fall. Accidents happen and kids will be kids. Zoey bounced back from this fall really quickly (we were even having tickle fights soon after she calmed down.) If she were not as tough as she is or as we let her be this would have been much more devastating to her and would have probably ruined her whole night. As it was, she was climbing back up into the same chair she fell from within an hour. She has a good memory, so that isn't it, I think it just means it didn't affect her too much. She brushed herself off and kept on going.

We did let her watch an extra Mickey last night, which kept her up an extra half an hour (just in case). Then she was ready for bed. She was acting and playing like it never even happened.

It wasn't until I talked to Stephen later that I still didn't take a full breath. I think Zoey got over her fall before I did. I encourage her to be independent, but I still worry about her (and I'll probably never stop.)

Stephen was glad to hear she was doing so well. Hearing the good reports he said that it sounded like she was just fine and that a chipped tooth is not so bad. (I don't even think you can really see it unless you look closely.)

Then he said something that really hit me..."It's sometimes hard watching your heart walk around outside of you, isn't it."

Yes, yes it is. Especially watching it fall. Thankfully, I can also watch it get back up and grow a little stronger.